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I Do Not Know What To Do....

I feel sad, lonely, misunderstood and realized the man I married and have two kids with does not love me.
He said I am only with you for the kids. I had two from a prior relationship and he expressed he no longer cares what they think of him. I have shown my distrusting side allot towards him. The last thing I did was record his conversation with his friend. And at the moment I am waiting for him to return home from a soccer game to tell me if he is leaving or staying.

He said I don`t deserve Love.
That I deserve to be treated badly that not even God would forgive me.
I only wish to be truly loved and seen as an important, special woman and human. His brother told me today that he left a girlfriend back in his country whom he truly loved. How should I feel to have so much thrown at me?
I`m scared to be alone with 4 kids to not have everything they deserve. A family.
We are all worth more than we can imagine. Sometimes we do things we regret later on in this life things we can never take back.
And the thought of him finding someone he will really love and to not have loved me torments me extremely.
I feel I have nothing to offer anyone else or even him. 
Our relationship from the start was not pretty and the only reason we got married was because I got pregnant. We where in church and it seemed like the right thing to do.
Well four years later and this is what I thought I would never go thru

mividatusuerte mividatusuerte 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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Those are pretty horrible things to say to a person. Geez.

It is just the way you felt it. I never wrote anything to hurt you or to become harsh.<br />
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Remember that there are not OFFENDERS but OFFENDED people. You choose what to take.<br />
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Read the 4 agreements, this will help you in NOT thinking and feeling things too personal.<br />
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Cheers!

Think positive. He left you the most beautiful and rich heritage that anyone can give you: Two beautiful kids. Now after him, you know what you expect and what you want. People come into your ife for a reason. You are too young to consider that you wont be loved. There are plenty of people out there, that knows about LOVE and COMMITMENTS. Next time you will watch who you open the door to. It takes time to overcome, its OK to feel what you are feeling, and that is why this site is GREAT, is not important being anonymous, but to see and feel that you are not alone and that there are many people going through your same issue. You will find people that may offer ears and shoulders, advises and you wont feel ALONE. Remember that time cures all, its in YOU to discover your weakness and strengths and we are all here to help you in that LONG path. <br />
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Good luck! Cheers!

Thanks for your comment here but the one on the other page was harsh

Im so sorry to hear what you are going through, Im not surprised your behaviour became paranoid considering what his behaviour was like, you deserve much better than him, I wish you the best :)

Thanks, for somreason being on here and reading all these stories help.