So Afraid I'll Never Experience It.

I have never had a boyfriend (except for one boy in the 10th grade. He turned out to be gay, and he only dated me to convince people that he liked girls). No guy since the 1st grade has genuinely admitted his feelings for me. I have told men numerous times when I had feelings feelings for them, and they'd always give me that blank, "weird" look and act all awkward, like they didn't know what to say. None of them liked me back, even if I was their friend to begin with. (Before you say "Give it time! Let HIM ask YOU first!", there are plenty of guys I've liked that I've never admitted to. They all went nowhere.)

I'm already EIGHTEEN. NO GUY has ever had feelings for me (presumably because of the way I look, or I'm just too boring and annoying). My best friend goes through boyfriends like magazines, and every freaking conversation we have has to do with her boyfriend and how awesome it is to have one. I want to feel that, too. I want to know how it feels to have somebody hug me, kiss me, lie with me, tell me they love me, joke around with, have fun with... I am currently a freshman in college, and I have no friends yet. Never even had my first kiss. I'm absolutely terrified that I never will, but I don't really know how. If no man has ever liked me by now, why would one ever like me in the future? It's not like I can change my boring, irritating personality, and I'm always going to be unattractive. That's what scares me the most...
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5 Responses Mar 14, 2012

What happen to you was not your fault.

Basically you learned that people do lie.

The best you can do now

Your the CAT 😜😜😜
Go find what u like and
Pursue your own happiness within.

I'm 19 and I feel the same way!

So what? Embrace yourself. You're 18, you are different than your best friend. Stop comparing yourself to her, it makes you miserable.<br />
Boring? Then start to do one thing that scares you everyday. Don't change yourself to get someone to like you. Change yourself to be someone you would love. You know the most attractive side of people is confidence. Confident people oozes charm that makes people wants to get to know them more. And all confident people I know, love themselves and embrace themselves. You are a freshman, right? It's an opportunity to find the real you. Don't be shy, live at the moment. Never think you are a boring person, instead try to talk about things excites you. When you talk about them, make yourself believe you love them. Let people knows what you are passionate about. It's cool to be passionate about something.<br />
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I can't say too much, but most people I found most interesting are not that cool kids in high school. What happens in high school doesn't validate who you are in life. <br />
Go find one thing that scares you (dress up differently from the way you usually dress for instance) and embrace yourself!

^ i think they pretty much said it all, esp the first comment! They way your thinking rightnow is too negative, i think the best thing to do it change acouple things about your self , more open minded more like. maybe with a little bit of change it'll be worth it and someone along the way will come around. although i know many say that your suppose to wait for the "man" but i think otherwise. if that "guy" is thinking the same way as everyone else then men and woman will never meet. be spontaneous go out and meet guys! not easy or nothing like that, but just to conversant and experience with other man, nothing more.. and maybe one of those guys will see more to you then you think! trust me. your still very young, don't worry you or he will find eachother and you will experience soooo many boyfriends!! ;) hope this helps!

not sure if this helps at all, but a lot of people go through this as teenagers. The reasons seem to vary wildly, but it seems to mostly boil down to the superificiality of the people in their environment, and blind luck. My advice would be to find things you care about deeply or passionately and get involved in them .. propinquity and shared interests are very fertile fields for the propagation of romance. An irritating personality, you think? well obviously I dont have any way of knowing, but I've seen some of the most aggravating and annoying and irritating people get hooked up & married, because what irritates me, someone else obviously finds attractive.<br />
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Oh as for waiting to be asked? nuts to that, always take the chance if you can muster the nerve (and dont blame yourself when you cant!)