A Catalyst For My Shyness?

the fear that others don't want me around has definitely played a big part in my lack of a social life from my hesitancy to try to form lasting friendships (or attempt to invite myself along to ANYTHING - even if i really want to go) through to being afraid to call people on the phone. 

I suppose one such experience would be when my high school marching band took a trip down to disney world and one day i was tagging along with a fair sized group of people (10 or so) and i made mention to one person that i wanted to stop and buy a drink but i didn't want to hold anyone up/wasn't sure the group would wait for me...so i was assured by a few people that no its ok i should go get the drink, they'd wait.  So i went and got the drink and when i come back, the group is gone....i see them about 20 feet ahead and walking away so i slowly move that direction and decide  to try to see how long it would take for someone to actually notice my absence....took about 5 minutes and they were a good 50 feet away (a fair distance in a busy place like disney world)....that sure cemented my fear of not being wanted around...that was the last day i spent with that group... spent most of the rest of the trip with the chaperones (good ol' band moms)...had a better time with them too...

shygirl14 shygirl14
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 19, 2009

Hey....dont be so down with urself. It happens with everybody...most of the times....you are not wrong yourself..you are wrong in choosing the wrong group...<br />
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Look at the bright side, the earlier you realize that you are not wanted in a particular group....the better it is for you. because you will not loose your precious time with people who dont want you....so look for other...the world is big enough...to accommodate everybody. <br />
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you just need to look out and you will always find people like you around you. In your life time, if you are able to find one such person...that is a good enough. Nobody needs more than that. Believe me, you wont want. But till that happens...dont curse the journey....enjoy it...keep smiling, and enjoy life. it always gives you nice experiences.