I Used to Always Think That I ...

I used to always think that I wanted to have children of my own no question...that has changed as I've gotten older and still no wife, etc.  Having kids is a lifetime commitment and a very serious one.  Your life changes immensely and I don't know if I would want to give up the freedom that I have currently.
ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
41-45, M
5 Responses Jun 18, 2007

When in doubt....don't. It's simple.

My thoughts... I'm a single mother of three and wouldn't change it for the world HOWEVER it is a BIG commitment and something not to jump into. If it's right for you, you'll know it. PPl have kids in their 50's now so time is still there. I started so young and then started again... the option is yours.

Alaska, SOME men give away their power but some don't. I haven't yet and I fear it. One of my best friends was a pretty decent guitar pla<x>yer 12 years ago...we were on the same level...he got a girlfriend who took over his life for 3 years and by then I had way surpassed him musically...that was just the lesson I needed...even now the guys I play with often work around their girlfriend/wife's schedule and as a result have really limited playing time. I have a hard enough time getting all the things done in life that I want to do already and still including music in there. I can't imagine how I would pull it off if I had a serious relationship also. I couldn't, I don't think. That's what my fear is. I've put so many years and a lot of stock into the music thing to just let it go and "settle down". Then again I am also an extraordinarily lonely soul so I don't know if it's worth it. A happy medium would be nice. An independent woman with her own life that would respect my musical commitment and not hate me for it. Sorry, this is a touchy subject for me.

Good point...I'm not totally ruling out children but they are such a large responsibility...I fear what a wife and kids would do to the musical part of my life...I have the Yoko Ono fear that a woman and kids would ruin my music.

I understand that! But I also feel that as a man in my 50's I may have made some poor choices in that area when I was young enough to make them. I have no children of my own. My wife has a son who will likely have some kids so I can at least play the grandfather role, but no one will be carrying my genes to the next generation. When I think about all the people who have kids and have no means of supporting a family BUT DO IT ANYWAY... I think that maybe i should have allowed that to happen.