Reaction, Action.

I'm not sure where this fear comes from, because I've never really had anyone just bash an idea that I've had.. I suppose though, that it could have something to do with when I was young.

Silence contributed a lot to not only this fear of reactions, but also the anorexia and bulimia that I stuggled with for so many years.

At a young age, I was always a perfectonist. I was the typical teacher's pet, the poster child for a people pleaser. I remember simply avoiding disagreeing with someone just also to avoid conflict. My parents were always fighting (and eventually divorced when I was 5), and I never liked it, I never wanted to be like that. The fights made me want to crawl under the covers and eavesdrop, listen from my bedroom. I knew that these arguments were the result of disagreement, so I suppose that, subconsciously, I made the decision simply not to disagree, and just go along with whatever the other opinion was.

This obviously caused problems as I got older. (By the way, no, I'm not one of those people who thinks that every little thing when you're really young has a huge impact on your life today. I'm of the belief that people can change, choose to not remember, or simply take it in and grow from it, ultimately not letting the issue bother them... but in some instances, it is different.)

When you become old enough to form your own important opinions, it suddenly becomes important to share them, whether or not it coincides with the person you're speaking with.

Anyway, I guess that the whole point of this story was to share the fact that we may not necessarily be afraid of some big, unspecified "reaction" - it may just be because we're afraid of getting into an argument. (Then the question arises, why are we afraid of arguments?, to which there is a plethora of answers...) The reaction, we must remember though, may not be bad at all -- in taking action and sharing your idea, you may change someone else's.

lettingitgo89 lettingitgo89
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 26, 2010

I am often embarrassed when I tell someone that I disagree with them. I am also afraid of being judged if I disagree. I think you had good assumption about your childhood connecting to now. I believe that one's childhood plays a role in their future.