Their Loss

i know rejection hurts ... but the simplest way to deal with it ... to think ....
their loss ... !!! 
TjtheDj TjtheDj
22-25, F
6 Responses Aug 5, 2010

I think that a response to the rejection of someone I love and care about would not be, as the last line in your story says, "their loss...!!!:-)" , that such a response would seem to fall under the 'emotion-focused coping strategy of managing hostile feelings'.

If I were really honest and actually loved and cared about that person, I'd say "My loss. I lost someone I loved and cared about." I would endure the pain of loss, because there is a time for everything. The grief process has supposed stages..the last stage is acceptance. The truth is, someday I may or may not find the person who will honor my love, I certainly don't want to lie to myself by giving myself unfounded expectations because I too see my faults, and whether anyone be capable of loving me is not for me to say but they shall speak for themselves. <br />
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Here is something I thought would help you to see a bit where I'm coming from, I personally prefer the problem-focused strategy of dealing with loss:<br />
In coping with stress, people tend to use one of the three main coping strategies: either appraisal-focused, problem-focused, or emotion-focused coping. [1]<br />
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Appraisal-focused strategies occur when the person modifies the way they think, for example: employing denial, or distancing oneself from the problem. People may alter the way they think about a problem by altering their goals and values, such as by seeing the humour in a situation.[citation needed]<br />
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People using problem-focused strategies try to deal with the cause of their problem. They do this by finding out information on the problem and learning new skills to manage the problem.<br />
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Emotion-focused strategies involve releasing pent-up emotions, distracting one-self, managing hostile feelings, meditating, using systematic relaxation procedures, etc.[which?].<br />
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Typically, people use a mixture of all three types of coping, and coping skills will usually change over time. All these methods can prove useful, but some claim that those using problem-focused coping strategies will adjust better to life.[4]<br />
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Men often prefer problem-focused coping, whereas women can often tend towards an emotion-focused response. Problem-focused coping mechanisms may allow an individual greater perceived control over their problem, while emotion-focused coping may more often lead to a reduction in perceived control. Certain individuals therefore feel that problem-focused mechanisms represent a more effective means of coping.(Nicholls, & Polman, 2006)

@ wonders ..... <br />
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nope its not about gloating at others thinking its their loss ... its a way to console yourself .... its a way to feel better ... its a way to realize that you were honest ... n you knew how much you loved the other one ..... n they dint care .... but someday you will find the person who will honor your love ..... !!!

I think that is a sad way to console pretend you care so much for a person and once rejected, to console yourself with the thought that they may end up worse off... just how much could you have cared to begin with to make yourself feel better by their loss.. Oh well. People who are afraid of rejection usually don't even put themselves in a position to gloat "Their loss."

hey i would like to think like that but its not always easy to have that feeling

True. One should learn to value his-own-self.<br />
Only we know how much we loved someone, so they certainly lost a genuinely loving person and might end up with a b*tch.