I've always been, as long as I can remember, I've tried to change myself so that people like me and it has worked so far very well, but now, I feel like I'm lost, I've been posing to be someone other than myself for so long that I've forgotten what its like to be me. Now I feel so alone and like nobody underastands me and other than that, my OCD and depression doesn't help at all.
I've always felt I was different from other folks my age and I felt like I was a freak, not that I had 10 fingers or alligator teeth but in what I liked to do and stuff like talking to myself and anything other than people (except my family and 2 or 3 other classmates)....and here I am feeling lost and in a very sucky situation where I can't figure out what to do, I'd really really like to my original self but I don't even remember whats like to be myself...oh man this is so ****** up! :c
enigmawar enigmawar
22-25, M
1 Response Aug 20, 2014

You know ... sometimes we get so lost I'm being somebody else that we forget who we are ... don't change yourself anymore. Be yourself and you'll find the people who're worth it will love you just the way you are. Beyond that, nothing else matters :)

I really appreciate the thought but, its just...I'm confused, its klinda automatic response to presence of other people close to me!
The only time I'm close to what I feel I truly am is when I'm trying to help people!

So build on that. Stop worrying about what you and other people think about you, and start focusing on helping others. Pick a career where you can put that altruism to work and rush into it full tilt. Join a volunteer group in your spare time. Try new hobbies on for size. Move to a different community. Travel. Give yourself the go ahead to like and dislike things based on what you feel and not what other people think.
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The rest will fall into place. You aren't alone in this - most kids your age feel the exact same thing. Good luck.

Well, thanks I guess, I am already in an engineering college and well, I will try to infuse it with engg somehow!