... in the way I am, I behave, by girls. I always need affirmation for things I do in my private life. I have the fear to fail at anything I do. It does not matter if i try to talk to a girl or just being accepted for who I am. I have so low self esteem in private life.

That is so weird, because everything I do at work, I am full of self esteem, it doesn't matter if it is daily work or a hard project. At my work I feel safe. I wish I could feel like that when I'm in a Bar.
Gammler Gammler
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 20, 2014

I know exactly how you feel. I fear what people think of me, so much so that growing up I would always wear baggy, long sleeved pants and sweatshirts so I could hide myself, in a way. Of course I grew out of it, somewhat but I think I'll forever have the fear. I've grown to try and stop thinking about what others think about me and just be who I am, but I still have the day-to-day fear. I find my safe haven in music and drawing. I'm not the best singer, but music always makes me feel better. Same goes for my drawings; not the best, but it still makes me feel better being able to put myself on paper.

Did you ever thought of trying to go into something like a art class or drawing class? I mean if you like drawing, you are good at it and you are feeling save when you are drawing wouldn't it be a good idea to get in contact with someone else sharing your interests? Same goes for singing.

I had been in art class from 2nd grade all the way through school. And for singing, I've been in music class/choir since 1st grade all the way through. I graduated HS, so I'm on my own until I go into college. But I think you're right about finding someone that shares my interests.