One Day... Just One Day...

I've always been afraid of intimacy and relationships and I wish it would stop because it's taking over my life. I wish I could be in a proper relationship instead of pushing people who love me away. When I was 14 I was friends with a girl who had been sexually assaulted. She was broken - I was not. Unknown to me she organized a sleep over where she asked one of her guy friends to sleep with me. Later that night she took off with her boyfriend while I was left with this stranger on a bed. Next thing I know he was all over me and when I said stop he didn't. That night I lost my virginity. Afterwards I sat in the shower, broken, crying, feeling dirty and scared. I wanted to go home to my loving family. I sleep with the door locked that night, crying myself to sleep. It's been 4 years now and I've never told another living person what happened that night. One day I hope I can be in a proper relationship and be intimate with a man. One day...
Nazza2010 Nazza2010
18-21, F
1 Response May 16, 2012

sorry to hear what happen to you i understand your scared and i understand you want be loved by a guy i would like to try to that guy if you want your choice