I'm Keeping This Simple...

I never talk about why I'm afraid of the dark so badly, but those who honestly know me and my past, are always understanding about it.
....I....I was raped when I was twelve in the dark for three weeks straight. Every night. It wasn't by a stranger, although he is to me now, and shall remain that way whether my family disagrees with me or not.
I moved on with my life, and was later raped again by, what was at the time my best friend's, brother. In the dark. Everyone home. Just like the first one. Just the damn same. Nobody cared. Still don't.
....Two more times as the same age I was on the second rape.
....Then again at eighteen ....~_~…
And each time was the same. And for those who wonder why I never screamed, hard to when a gun's in your mouth.
So, forget the dark. If I can't see everything around me, I freak out and get jumpy at every noise, then scream whether there's danger or not. Plus, it causes all the nightmares I have already to go into overdrive and I wake up screaming and stupid tears and crap I hate myself for. Well, that's why. I'm not writing anymore on this subject. Toodles.
DoveBreath DoveBreath
26-30, F
Dec 11, 2012