I Demand You to Leave.

The heart-racing, eye-widening, sweat-producing fear that stems from nightmarish sleep haunts me on a weekly basis. I have been plagued with a sensitive imagination since childhood, counting the hours until daylight seeps into my room again. And the nightmares only grow worse by the reality of the still, silent, heavy darkness that surrounds the fleeting comfort of my bed.

The DARK! My most hated enemy; the veil that disguises security and well-being. And oh, what a frightening experience to wake up trembling with indistinguishable shadows falling on all corners of your room. What could be there in the dark that is hides from the light? What evils could lurk without a sound to the foot of your bed, just waiting for you to close your tired eyes? My confession: I am twenty-five years old and I sleep with a night light three feet from my bed.

Over the years, my fear has come to a new focus that amplifies itself in darkness. For those who have not experienced the bitter taste of spiritual warfare, I propose that this could be the most potent, eye-opening fear available to the human race. “For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms,” reads Ephesians 6:12. The picture this verse puts in my head is far from comfortable. I have a constant vision of evil spirits, whispering doubts and horrors in my ears. I cannot see them, but I know they are near.

Recently, I was plagued with dreams that I deem to hold spiritual weight. They were horrifying, terrible sleeps that woke me with gasps as I lunged for the cover and safety of my husband’s arms. Three distinct dreams, all extremely similar, kept my eyes open long after I grew tired again. The settings of these dreams were all the same: my bedroom, appropriate time of night, same lighting, same position in bed–it was as if I was awake. In each dream, I lifted my eyes to see a person, or a spirit, watching me from some place in the room. They were watching, waiting for me. For what, I don’t know. My heart beat with the fear of the possibility that these might actually be spirits as I faded from reality to subconscious. I can’t explain to you why they seemed so evil, but I can only tell you from the discernment of my heart that I was attacked.

The enemy knows the types of fears and insecurities that I struggle with daily. He knows when to tempt me, he knows when to fill me with doubt, he knows how to keep me separated from the Lord. The enemy knows that I am sensitive to the contents of my dreams. It doesn’t take much to send me reeling, so he plagues me with evil pictures in my subconscious. It’s a tactic that leaves me with sleepless nights, fleeting focus, and waining motivation during the day. My sensitivity to these attacks is only amplified by the darkness that shrouds the night. I know he is there, waiting to whisper in my ear, waiting to get me alone and away from the clarity of the light.

And then I remember comforting words, “O LORD, you are my light; yes, LORD, you light up my darkness (2 Samuel 22:29).” The most cherished words of wisdom I received from my father came from a night in my early years when I was burdened by the visions of evil spirits dancing around my room. He heard my pleas for help and taught me a valuable lesson in my relationship with Christ. He said, “Whenever you get scared, just say these words, ‘Satan, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I demand you to leave.’” From that point on, I call upon the name of the Lord when I grow fearful. My dad simplified the idea in Ephesians 5:11, “Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them.” I continue to expose my fears with prayerful fervency and devoted whisperings in darkness. My fears are natural–a product of knowing the true evil that abides in our world. At times I am paralyzed with fear, but then I remember I am a beloved Child of God. Nothing can harm me as long as I call on the name of the Lord. He will flood the darkness with light and bring light to the deepest gloom.

TaylorCJ TaylorCJ
1 Response Feb 27, 2009

I grew up with a nite light too but husband likes it super dark so I have no choice but 2 sleep in complete darkness. When hubby with me I feel fine but once alone in bed when he out of town and stuff yeah I get bit paranoid about the dark..