The Dark Is Scary

I think I'm more afraid of the dark now than I was as a young child. I believe this is due to the fact that I've seen more now, and can imagine more awful and terrifying things than I could before. I find myself lying in bed at night, completely paralyzed with fear. I know I can move, but I'm so afraid of what might happen if I choose to. I try to think of happy things, particularly things that make me feel safe and comfortable, but somehow my mind always finds its way back to the thing in my closet waiting for me to turn my back on it so it can do whatever awful things it has in store for me. Other times it's a monster under my bed that's waiting for me to let my feet slip out from the covers so it can grab them and pull me under the bed where I will be transported somewhere terrible like an alternate universe full of evil, or even hell itself. Other nights I imagine that it will be aliens that abduct me and leave me with unimaginable memories that drive me mad. I also fear that a certain dead person will knock on my window (god forbid I actually hear something at my window, in which case I am too afraid to be in my room for the rest of the night) and torment me in disturbing and disgusting ways. There are times when I fear there is some one actually lurking in my room waiting for me to fall asleep before stepping out of the shadows. I lose a great deal of sleep over these irrational and ubsurd fears.

Now for fear of sounding insane, I must explain that I realize none of these things will ever happen to me. I understand the impossibility of it all, but my overactive imagination just seems to get the best of me at night when I'm alone in the dark.

ejordan ejordan
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 11, 2010

I totally relate to that feeling. I do the same almost every nite. Terrified of being alone too