Drills And Needles? ...no Thank-you.

The very word leaves a heavy feeling of sheer terror in me. I hate it with all my heart. The Dentist. Nothing about that word sounds remotely comforting or pleasant.

My last visit to the dentist was certainly not my proudest moment. Sitting in a somewhat crowded waiting room did nothing to calm me. My whole body was shaking. I felt sick and faint and the screaming child next to me didn't exactly make me feel better. I love how dentists always ask you how you are that particular day. Yeah, I'm flippin' fantastic. In a few short moments I'm going to be forced into a chair while you force sharp metal implements into my mouth. Anyway, I digress. I was literally in the chair a maximum of 2.5 seconds when I began to wail uncontrollably. It came from nowhere. Now, I am just not a crier. In face, crying in public is another of my fears. I hate people seeing me cry. So, this sudden outburst of ridiculous sobbing took me by surprise. My dentist, bless her heart, was incredibly sweet and understanding and she told me my make up was fine even though I knew I looked like I'd probably been in a fist fight and then dragged through a bush backwards.

The strange thing with me is that this phobia has only developed over the past year or so. Growing up, my mother religiously took me for check-ups and dragged me back to get fillings or other hideous procedures. I even had two teeth removed and endured 2 years with a mouth full of metal to correct the gaps in my teeth.

So, yeah, I can make a joke of it. I can laugh at myself and think of how silly I must have looked especially since it was just a check up. But it does really distress me. More than I can put into words. But if anyone can shed any light as to why this phobia has suddenly sprung up on me over the past year it would be really appreciated.

I need two fillings. At least that what I could hear over my wailing. I worry about it every day. I feel so angry that I allow something so minor to rule my head. I know its irrational but I physically cannot go. Not without heavy sedation anyway.
collectingthoughts collectingthoughts
18-21, F
Nov 30, 2012