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Finding Love Again

Sometimes, I truly am afraid.... that I may never find "True Love" again. So I decided to find out what "True Love" was really all about. After much soul searching, reading, studying, and talking to others, I began to realize that just about everyone has a different viewpoint or idea regarding this topic. I began looking within myself and GOD  for the answer. I took all of the things I have learned over time and started working on Loving MYSELF.

I challenge you to do the same and see what happens. I began having a "Love Affair" with myself. It sounds so silly... but now I finally understand what people mean when they say " If you don't Love Yourself, you can't Love anyone else". Love has different meanings to just about everyone I know. Here is the truth about Love. "LOVE" is a feeling, an emotion that that we have no control over. We CANNOT control how we feel !!!... We can ONLY CONTROL what we do ABOUT the way we feel. We also cannot FORCE anyone to love us  just because we FEEL we are in 
love or love another person. To try and force another person to love us back  would only be futile and lead to  our own UNHAPPINESS and PAIN.

When you begin practicing the art of LOVING YOURSELF, you begin taking care of yourself. You begin to truly know who you are, what you like and what you don't. You learn to fulfill your own happiness and no longer feel lonely because you Love who you are and you begin honoring yourself and all of the life experiences that have shaped you into the beautiful person that you are today.

You soon learn that you don't NEED someone else to love you because the Love you have for yourself is enough. You begin establishing boundaries for yourself and you do not  allow ANYONE to cross over the " HEALTHY"  boundaries that you have soon learned to create  for yourself. You learn to NEVER allow ANYONE to love you LESS than you love yourself. You no longer feel dependent on being happy or feeling loved based on anyone else. You learn to ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS AND LOVE !!!

Healthy people with INTEGRITY, morals, standards, values, love for themselves and others WILL ATTRACT PEOPLE OF THE SAME LIKE-MINDEDNESS. Healthy minded people take responsibility for how they feel and the choices that they make ! LOVE is based on TRUST. Stay away from anyone who does not have high self-esteem or blames others for their issues, problems, feelings, ect......those are the people who want to drag you down so that you truly don't ever find TRUE LOVE.

If someone truly loves you they will take all the time in the world to get to know you.  They will like you and love you UNCONDITIONALLY !!! WITH NO EXPECTATIONS. They will not force you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. NEVER allow anyone to demean you or tell you that you are being ridiculous for setting your standards so high. Hold your head up high and NEVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN YOUR HEARTS DESIRE !

You will find TRUE LOVE again and before you know it, you will be laughing and dancing again !
msfancypants msfancypants 46-50, F 10 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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Nicely said fancy one.

Right on lil sis, I confess, I have been having a long exotic love affair with myself and I cannot get enough! :) Great and true post.

Very true on every level, if a bit simplistic.<br />
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I have become convinced I am not lovable , even though I think of myself as having very positive qualities. <br />
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I am really sad and lonely and can no longer hope that anything will get better. Resigned to it after years of hopefullness and feeling positive.<br />
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Just being a realist here, even though everything you say rings true, has not worked in my case.

Dear Lilimarlena,

Thank you very much for the reply as I sincerely respect how everyone feels, and take great pride in being as simple as possible.

I am truly sorry that you are really sad and lonely. I can certainly remember feeling the same way.

Can you please share with me exactly what part of my story has not worked for you ?

Thank you. I guess the decision I made last night was not one of me loving myself. I was seeking pleasure but not getting emotionally fed. I will never try to make this same mistake again. I feel like I don't know how to be alone for long periods of time. But I'm working on it. I can't wait to fall in to real true romantic love. But before I do that, like you said I must love myself. And loving myself means setting boundaries.

Exactly !...... Be very, very, gentle to yourself while you are working on learning to love and honor yourself.

Start every morning with a positive prayer and ask GOD to give you the strength and courage you need to make it through the day. I promise you that he will see you through this.

You were created by him for a reason. Know that he loves you, and is with you during every moment of your life.

Remember that what you are going through has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

As you learn to love and like yourself , you will eventually enjoy and cherish being alone.

Take your time and be kind to yourself as you continue to evolve.

Be the best person you can be. Never cause harm to yourself or others.

Hope this helps ( hugs )

Thank you. I try. : )

Just read this piece of advice & thought this was written so direct & to the point. We sound like two souls of the same character.I two have a long time ago decided to do & be all of the above person.It has helped me in so many ways to stay away from negative people & feel good about life & what I do with it. By setting our standards high we may have fewer friends around us but the ones we have are very special.And we know who we are because we love ourselves without having to depend on someone else.What a great piece you have written & is so true. Thanks so much... Jeri

Thank you Haunted, you are truly a kindred spirit.
Sandy

Thank you, It has been a long journey. I recommend that EVERYONE try it , learn it, and LIVE IT !

So very true and like others have said; inspiring and nicely written. I have often wondered why, being such a loving person, that I do not have "more friends" than I do. I realize that I have the friends whom I really feel are true and a few true friends are better than many acquaintances. <br />
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You are doing VERY well in loving yourself; people WILL BE DRAWN to you when they see how loving that you are toward yourself...really.

Thank you Grantdsgirl, Have a wonderful journey.

Wow, this is really inspiring. I had to let go of my true love and it was the most difficult thing i ever did. Im just right now starting the journey you talk about, but I didnt realise it until now.<br />
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Thank you very much! <br />
I will surely read it more than once.<br />
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Thank you

Dear Nims89,

Thank you for the positive response. Good luck on your journey and feel free to ask for advice along the way. Follow your heart and your mind. Take care of yourself and don't forget your purpose in life.

Thank you Lonedove, for the compliment. It is so nice to hear kind words from someone sincere.

Beautifully written! It has been said the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. It is impossible to let others know how to treat us if we don't even know who we are ..... I like the journey you've been on. I've done this same journey and it has forever changed my interactions with others.