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I Am Afraid That I'll End Up Alone

Petrified Of It. But Am I The One To Blame?

By: in0centbeauty23
Written on September 17th, 2010
I'm young. Really young. It's too early to start worrying about never finding your soulmate right?

I always thought I'd be in a lone term relationship by the time I'm 21 and then get married at 24. But there's something wrong with me... Not with my personality or with my looks... but with my feelings. I can't... fall in love with somebody. I broke up with one of my x's because he started talking about our children and the mere thought about that freaked me out. And my most previous one, I broke up with him because I was scared of losing my feelings for him in the future, that they weren't strong enough, and I'd just end up hurting him more.

I don't do flings or short term relationships. If I date someone, it's because I'm thinking about spending the rest of my life with them. But you're not supposed to think about that in the beginning right? And by doing so, I feel like I'm setting myself up for disaster. Because everytime I think about spending the rest of my life with someone, I freak out that I'm settling and that it may not be enough.

I'm too much of an idealistic. I have my head stuck in the clouds. I'm scared that I'm going to keep looking up there and not even realize my fairytale when it comes along.
By: in0centbeauty23
Age: 18-21 , Female
337 people have read this story

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5 responses
  • in0centbeauty23
    in0centbeauty23

    Aw thanks goingunder. That's the plan for now :)

    Oct 27, 2010
    1 like
  • GoingUnder88
    GoingUnder88

    Everyone ends up where they're suppose to be... Elfinsong is right, just enjoy the ride. You seem like someone who is very kind and personable so I'm sure you won't have trouble finding that someone - just enjoy the ride while you wait.

    Oct 27, 2010
    1 like
  • in0centbeauty23
    in0centbeauty23

    Thanks for the words of wisdom elfinsong =]



    and watcher.. you're definitely right. wouldn't it be nice if none of us had to though? && I will definitely keep that under consideration :)

    Sep 29, 2010
    1 like
  • idlewatcher
    idlewatcher

    I think every relationship is different In0cent.......the reasons you begin a new relationship with one person might differ in the reason you begin one with someone else. I would say it boils down to perspective and how you view that person ie. do you deem them a suitable long term situation, do you feel safe with them, do you feel they will support you and say your career down the road etc etc.



    I think your perspective is spot-on because at the end of the day, no one wants to end up alone - but some will inevitably do so.



    You'll be fine though - just give me a shout in 10 years if nothing has panned out :P

    Sep 28, 2010
    1 like
  • ELFINSONG
    ELFINSONG

    Stand on the edge of a pool.......

    with your back to the water............

    close your eyes tilt your head back

    Spread your arms out to your sides

    Rock back on your heels and let go........



    Do this until you memorize the feeling of letting go.

    Take this feeling and this memory into your life

    To find the one you have to be willing to let go.

    To swim in the emotions to take the chances and to believe all things are possible.



    Enjoy the journey and know there is a soulmate for each of us

    The problem is we give up easily and when we do it disrupts the path's natural flow.

    To make contact keep all your senses to awareness

    Sep 28, 2010
    1 like