I Am Afraid That I'll End Up Alone

My Biggest Fear.

By: st0rminateacup

Written on August 16th, 2011

I am terrified of ending up alone.

I've never had good luck with men. At all. I'm attractive and a good person.. but still.. no luck. The guys I fall for never want me back. Sure, they will sleep with me, but that's as far as it goes. And I'm not EASY and I don't sleep with just anyone, but it always feels like the right time when it does happen. But then they tell me they only want to be my friend, or don't want a relationship, or met someone else, or whatever other bullsh*t they can think of. Then it usually ends up being a friends with benefits situation..And it always hurts. I continue to sleep with them because I want to be close to them, even though it hurts me to know they're using me. Maybe somewhere in my mind I think it will change and they'll realize they love me too, but it never happens that way. I've had my heart shattered so many times, and it never gets any easier.

And the guys that like me, I am NOT interested in ONE BIT. I'm 23 years old.. and men who are 50 + tend to hit on me. Or men who don't speak English.. or just plain unattractive men. (Not trying to sound superficial here, but I DEFINITELY have standards). There have been a couple decent guys that were interested in me, but they came on WAY too strong, and I find that to be a turnoff.

I've had 2 serious boyfriends.. one when I was 14 through 15.. almost 10 years ago. And one was about 2 years ago, but he was a nut case and I don't even count that. I've had other small relationships on the side, but nothing meaningful.

I don't know where to go to meet men. I don't want to meet them at bars. I go out with my friends weekly, and not once have I met anyone intriguing at a bar. I haven't met anyone at work or at school. I don't meet guys out at random places like Starbucks, because there is never anyone interesting enough.

Maybe I'm too picky, I don't know.. but I'd rather be picky than settle for less. I just am TERRIFIED that I will HAVE to settle for less. What if I never meet anyone again who gives me *that* feeling, and if I do, what if he doesn't reciprocate yet AGAIN?? What if I grow older and am sick of being alone, so I settle for someone who DOES want me? I just want to be crazy about someone and have them be crazy about me too, but judging by my track record, that is never going to happen.

I don't want to die alone. :'(

By: st0rminateacup

Age: 22-25 , Female

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8 responses

TheHonestLiar

Be fearless, and never give up. :)

Aug 22, 2011
2 likes
livvy7

I totally feel the same.....I'm 27 years old and seem to go from one heartache to another, and feel so low that I just don't see the point in living, if I'm just going to have a lonely life. All my friends are settling down, and I've isolated myself from them because I can't bear to see them so happy....why is it so easy for them? They don't seem to understand what I'm going through. I'm always told that I'm too pretty and lovely to end up alone, but I am. I had a year long relationship that ended last year, and I don't think I'll ever get over it. The guys I've dated since, just end up breaking my heart too. I try to be strong and not think about it, but it's difficult when I go through such heartache every time. I want a partner and children more than anything, but I just don't think it's my destiny :(

Aug 21, 2011
1 like
- st0rminateacup
  Awww :(... I hear you.. it's such an awful feeling. I really don't ever see myself meeting anyone. I want someone to share my life experiences with, someone to talk about music with, someone to just have fun with.. but I never see it happening. It's a horrible, awful feeling. I hope, for both of our sakes, that we are wrong. But who knows. At least you had a meaningful relationship.. I haven't had one in ten years. Literally. It SUCKS. If you ever need to talk, let me know, :)
  
  Aug 22, 2011
  1 like
st0rminateacup

Thank you.. that really made me feel better. :)

Aug 17, 2011
1 like
MadMan198

aren't we all, i mean we all have that fear and that exactly what makes a simple feeling of loneliness turn into something very horrible, yes, you still young but that doesn't mean to stop looking for that someone who is the best for you and you the best for him, simply don't get frustrated about it, friends with benefits situations dose always hurts, because it's not how it meant to be between men and women. having standards isn't a bad thing, it's your life after all, and you should be picky about anyone you invite to it, the trick is to have the RIGHT standards. don't be with someone simply because you don't wanna be alone, it wouldn't be fair for you nor him.

NOW, what to do? first you have to know exactly what you want, what to look for in a man (it's cheesy i know, but it's true) again, don't settle for less than you hope, second, places aren't the problem, you may find the man of your dreams in bar, and a stadium full of good rich men and none is good for you (go figure...), you should look everywhere but without aggressiveness, just be there like Queen, but with eyes wide open, school/work/bars/Starbucks also family and friends gatherings all of them are possible places . third, look for candidates (remember without rush), and of course, don't make like a mental list and check them systematically against it, sorry but that would be dump, what you should do is searching for things in a deeper level, sharpen your senses (or you could use the women SUPER-POWER aka the "sixth sense" - don't ask me, I'm a man and damned if i know what is it). and wait for that moment when you know that the search has ended (believe me, YOU WILL KNOW). know you have to take that "leap of faith" sometime.

i know what you gonna ask, what if i found someone but he is not interested in me. rarely that may happen, you can only hope it doesn't happen with you. but never go after him, that was your problem, you'll end up hurt again.

finally, i believe you are a nice person, someone will see that.

Aug 17, 2011
2 likes
st0rminateacup

Thank you both. I have basically just given up.. and hopefully it will come when I least expect it. I know I'm young, but can't help feeling like I'll never have someone to share my life with. It's an awful feeling :(

Aug 17, 2011
1 like
thecarer

Agree with above comment and you could also try joining clubs that interest you and meet guys that way or do some voluntery work and meet guys especially if you opt for care type work.

Aug 16, 2011
1 like
stlalane

Hi,i still think at your age your too young,meaning the rite guy is to come! So i will have to advice yu,what turns man on is a woman who is proud of herself,dont seek for attention by giving yourself up to guys who doesnt love but want you for their desires! i should say there`s always that time when a girl has to step back and be alone,it gives you time to evaluate the situation. another thing you should do is 2 go and look at the bar,i agree with yu is a totally NO NO!

And again dont be too choosy,jst wait for the moment to come and someone will come,dont knw how but i asure yu, yu will never die alone!

Stay as beautiful as you are to keep them coming and be very proud! hope i helped ..:)

Aug 16, 2011
2 likes

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