A Lifetime Of Searching..

I have been looking for my one true love my whole entire life.. and each time I thought I had found him, the guy turned out to be the worst kind of guy to have in my life. I'm such an oddball that most men only see me as a girl to be best friends with, to hang out with and have a blast. No one seems to want to keep me in their life as anything more than someone to hang out with. I'm almost 28 now.... and I've been through Hell and back. I've tried every which way to find the right kind of guy.. even online dating! & so far none of it's worked. I have friends now.. which is a first in my life.. true friends that I can count on. I even have a "Big Brother" now who constantly calls and nags me to take better care of myself and is always worrying about me. lol~^^ I love the guy, but he's so much older and doesn't think of me as the date-able type.

I guess I'm just too wild and crazy for the men of today. I'm extremely independent as I've never been able to count on my family for jack, even when I was young.. I've always ALWAYS had to do things alone and on my own. No one has ever wanted to be my nakama... to spend every moment with me making mischief or just having fun. I'm working on a project now that I long for someone to join me in.... but no one is brave enough to leave society behind and sail all around the world with me. If I can't even find a friend who'll join me in my dreams for the future.. how the heck am I ever going to find a man? No man is going to let their woman sail around the world to create and sell her art and write books about her adventures.

I want to reach out to people and provide a helping hand in my own way. I don't give a damn about money or society standards of living. I don't give a **** about my social status or what society as a whole thinks of me. I'm my own person and I will do things in my own way. What kind of guy would want a woman like me? A woman who can stand on her own two feet and doesn't need a man in her life in order to accomplish something or make something of herself. Don't get me wrong... I want a man in my life more than anything.. but I REFUSE to give up who I am in order to make ANYONE like me! I've had to do that far too much in the past and it almost killed me, I am NEVER going to go through that again! I want someone who'll love me for me.. EXACTLY the way I am.... Is that too much to ask?
SheFoxy SheFoxy
26-30, F
2 Responses May 12, 2012

There is only one person who can make you feel this. And that person is Jesus. You have to understand the whole world is searching for love because they feel so alone. But never give thought to the one who has been there before we were even born! Go to him with an open heart and he will take ALL of your worries away. I promise you, you will be forever changed and never alone again. And he will even bring that special someone in your life. Remember he created you. He knows you to a fault and loves you in spite of it. That is the most truth anyone can ever give you.

I thank you kindly for the advice, but I know this has nothing to do with my beliefs.

I don't think that's too much to ask at all, and I know you are a wonderful woman.. and I wish there were more wild and crazy ladies like you. :p

Thanks~^^