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I Am Afraid to Write Some Things About Myself On Ep

My True Self

By: lonesurvivor
Written on May 24th, 2009
Age: 51-55 , Female
361 people have read this story

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14 responses
  • lonesurvivor

    Thanks, Smugit.....I appreciate the support...

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • Smugit

    you could post anonymously in the confessions maybe that will help a bit! hugs you for the harsh times you are having!

    Jun 30, 2010
    2 likes
  • lonesurvivor

    Actually, I have as little trust in humankind as do you....and walls just as high and thick. That's why EP meant so much to me, and continues to do so....it gave/gives me the chance to talk about things that peeps in my RL would not understand or for which they would judge me . With the help of my friends here, the walls are beginning to come down...for better or for worse.



    I take no offense at your opinion...I just respectfully disagree....(smiles back...)

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • ersatz

    I respect that is your opinion and how you feel. I am in no way trying to change your view. I am just expressing my opinion. Expose yourself as you want ... as the saying goes, I have no horse in this race. You trust humankind much more than I, I am more cynical. My walls were formed long before EP was even a notion to the developers, I don't see it changing at this point in my life. Continued good luck to you. *smile*

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • lonesurvivor

    ersatz,

    I have no idea for what reason you came to EP. The reason I came was support through a sexless marriage. If I only wanted "friends" to bs with, I would have stayed on Facebook alone. There are many social networking sites from which to choose. EP had a very different dynamic. It promised a "safe" way to express inner feelings...indeed, encouraged such, and for the most part, the people I have run into have been very accepting people....eager to listen and to help.

    Have you considered the EPeeps who are here to get out feelings that have been repressed, for one reason or another, in "real life"? EP encourages you to share your experiences in order to find people who identify with you...how to do that without expressing the truth? The safety EP promises is tied to anonymity. My name was put out there by a former EPeep, Allenw...not of my own volition...and Tiger's stb ex knows my identity, and now has free run through all my private writings. I don't fault EP for this, and take full responsibility for the things I write. I have revealed my true identity to select EPeeps whom I trust, but no one else....coming to this site with the express purpose of finding secrets about me to use against me in my real life is , to my mind, unconscionable and unforgivable.

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • ersatz

    You can do as you wish obviously. I am just of the opinion that friendships and trust grow over time, they are not instantaneous. And if that trust isn't built and nurtured, should any of us become upset that someone might recognize us and use our own words against us? I guess I don't see this as a site in which I expose my innermost thoughts and self to whoever happens to see my postings. I fully support your right to believe otherwise however ...

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • lonesurvivor

    While I appreciate your opinion, if I can say no more than that, why be here at all?

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • ersatz

    I think I may have a differing opinion. This is a site for you to feel comfortable and safe sharing your thoughts and wishes. However, you should only share what you are comfortable in sharing sxdup. Treat this site as you do the other parts of your life ... with caution and care. This is not separate from your life ... it is a part of it ... and extension of it. Consider what you share as you would someone you met in the supermarket. As a friendship develops, you naturally gravitate to sharing more. Same here ...

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • lonesurvivor

    Thanks for the comment, sugarnspice4u. I fail to see the "catchy", though...it's a simple statement about my fear of writing certain things here. This story was written over a year ago, when I first came to EP. Since then, I met my present fiance, AgingTiger.....here on EP....and we now live together. My fear of being recognized has been born out, too. My fiance's stb ex knows about this site.....and has created an account here in order to harass us, keep tabs on us, and find out extremely personal things about me, with which to berate me. There is no telling if she has copied any of my writings, but if she has, she could very easily cause trouble for me ...there are things here I would not want my parents knowing. EP is supposed to be a safe place to discuss things you cannot discuss openly, and to get support when needed. Without the guarantee that things won't be used against you, what good is this site? I am extremely put out that she would invade my haven, my therapy....I would NEVER intrude on HER therapy (and , rest assured, she IS in therapy, and has been for years.). It seems that among other things, she has absolutely no respect for the purpose of EP....she has hijacked my "safe place". Seems my fears were warranted.

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • sugarnspice4u

    Wow sxdup, good and catchy way of getting attention from EP ehhh ..hmmm I wonder if you are certain your husband is not one of them under other username?? Mind you there are plenty such cases a couple chatting online thought they were in love with someone else turned out to be they were chatting with their own spouse lol... well here me or not I am just being a pest... sorry if this bothers you .. keep cool now and I am out of here...good luck!

    Jun 30, 2010
    1 like
  • dorobo

    Would love to be a listener if you need one.

    Jun 23, 2009
    1 like
  • lonesurvivor

    Good for you, dvijay, that's what ep is here for. Welcome!! P.

    Jun 17, 2009
    1 like
  • dvijay

    We or atleast myself have joined ep to openly talk the mind out.So nothing to hide.

    Jun 16, 2009
    1 like
  • Littleman409

    You can talk to me anytime. Your secret is safe with me.

    May 29, 2009
    2 likes