Making Myself Fail Again.

I am so afraid of the past repeating itself, I am afraid that I will soon sign my self out of this rehab. I feel myself breaking down again. I am have been crying since I got here. My body is in pain, it is craving the meth. It feels like I am dying. I dont know what to do anymore. I no longer want to be here, but I know I need to if I want a better future. Its just so painful. I never went thru something so hard in my life, and I been thru a lot. I cant stand it anymore. I am having fits like crazy. I have been thru 3 packs of ciggerates today, my nerves are so bad. I am going crazy, I snap on everyone that approaches me. I am ready to fight about everything. I am angry, sad, and in pain. I dont know about myself anymore. I need a little bump to keep me going.
imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
18-21, F
3 Responses Apr 12, 2012

there are no little bumps.

Right. ((((Hugs)))) Be angry, be sad...

try to hang in there i know its easier said than donethey should give you something for the meth addiction i hope you make it i am happy you are trying so hard to change you can be proud of that . vinny

Hang on I kow it hurts and it's hard, but it will be worth it! I remember feeling as though I would die of anxiety alone just when it gets hardest remember more people quit just before the finish line than any where else in a race. You can make it I know you can! It will be worth it you will get out of pain. Just hold on! Much love and hugs. Jack