This Is My Story

One morning, I woke up and I asked God, "why me"?  I was 5 or 6 years old when I realized that I was uncomfortable with the life that was in store for me.  Mom was barely there.  She'd be with one of her boyfriends, or as I was thinking at that time that she'll be back one day.  Her and her sisters constantly left us at our grandmom's house without advanced notice.  As I grew older, I understood that when my relatives left one way and came back totally different people,something was wrong.  They all were alcoholics.  My mom, grandmom and all of my aunts and uncles.  Mom made promises to me that she'd be back.  She missed my first day of school, even though that didn't bother me because as a kid you don't really understand fully what's going on.  All I knew was that I was comfortable and loved at my auntie's house.  They treated me like family.

Nevertheless, life went on like that until I turned 10.  Mom drowned her life in the bottle, and blamed the higher up for her failures.  She had pieces of jobs here and there.  She constantly verbally abused me and poked fun of me, until she realized that being a parent meant to be more responsible.  She decided to take us and move to another town after my grandmother passed away.  Mind you, I wasn't one of my grandmom's favorites.  I felt more loved at my auntie's house and she almost lost me to my aunt.  She had a hearing at Social Services which would've determined my fate.  She said time ran out and they threw the case out.  No, she didn't straighten up at that time.  Life went on with my alcoholic Mom for 5 years after that....... To be continued..
micia73 micia73
36-40, F
2 Responses Apr 16, 2012

very sorry i also grw up feelin i was just in the way

learn you are the power of ONE! Let go of the past. Realize you can only change your future. Accept everything in the past. Imagine you are holding everything that happened in the palm of your hand, pucker and blow and watch it go.<br />
My parents became alcoholics when I was an adult, but it got bad when I visited them. So I stayed away until I could not react to their antics (Several months), Our relationship changed when they realized that I wasn't trying to cope. Standing in the livingroom I stated :" I can stay away if you don't stop tormenting me. " My mother stopped and stared, but her behavior changed, no they did NOT stop drinking, then.