My Mother-in-law Gave Me Hope

When I was 5, I was diagnosed as having mild spina bifida, mild arrested hydrocephalus and mild ataxia. I was told that if I ever had children there was a real risk I could pass on my disabilities to them. For years and years, I never wanted children because of that risk. I saw a geneticist once a year who seemed to see himself as some fortune-teller for my bleak future, but the outlook was always the same.

When I turned 16 I saw him one final time. I'd had to have an operation, and he ordered for some blood tests to be taken while I was unconcious. He managed to screw these tests up but concluded from the results over the years that my chances had decreased and my chances of a disabled child were the same as anyone else. I was relieved and confused, but I was more hopeful about having a child.

2 years later I met my partner, many things were great, but I was determined I didn't want to have a child as I didn't want the risk of a child with spina bifida or hydrocephalus. Months into our relationship I found out more about my partner's late mother, she too had spina bifida and hydrcocephalus. Although far more serious than mine, many people have told me how independent she was. Although she was wheelchair bound, she let nothing stand in her way. That inspired me to believe that, disabled or not, I want our children.

We've been together 5 years now and, although I will never know my mother-in-law, she has inspired me. My Mum has advised me to consider many options including genetic counselling and IVF. She even asked if I'd abort a child for knowing it would be disabled (and I will never forget the day my Mum told me she would have aborted me had she known I'd be disabled!) We're getting married in May and we've decided that, when the time comes, disabled or not, we will love Joshua and ChloƩ with ALL our hearts.
CorruptedAngel CorruptedAngel
26-30, F
Jan 13, 2013