What Came First the Chicken Or the Egg?

I have been on anitdepressants for over 6 years.  It was given to me after I had my son and I was suffering in pain in my legs and arms

like a burning sensation. I went to so many doctors they came up with the ol' fibromyalgia and put me on effexor.  Then during that period in my life I actually did get depressed because I was still in pain.  It escalated to a pain doctor who gave me pain pills, muscle relaxers, long and short acting setatives and the Fentynl patch.  I was so screwed up.  I did want to die.I became obviously addicted.  Now after getting cleaned up I was left with a real "mood disorder"bi polar supposedly.  I am off everything, I think the drugs and the Effexor caused the mood disorder. Because even after recovery from narcotics my life has been a mess because of my frame of mind.  I would love to come off effexor.  My doctor insists I don't feel depressed because of the effexor.  If I miss a dose and I did wean and so forth, I had withdrawls worse than the narcotics.  I get brain zaps if anyone has ever hear of those, dizzy, nauses and incredibly verbally abusive and angry.  I was never like this prior to being on these meds.  So, what happened?  Was I depressed before the pills? or am I wacky because of the pills?  I cannot go without them, not one day.  I have been on them so long my body and mind cannot handle even skipping one dose without awful consequences.  I am mad.  I feel a little damaged by this.  But, I am excepting that it is what it is right now.  I just hope in 20 years I don't find out it causes cancer or something like that.  This is bad enough.

startingovergirl startingovergirl
36-40, F
Mar 17, 2007