Who Punishes The Men? Or Are They Too Dang Perfect For Punishment? Lol

That be up to your sweet lady Templeton.

In regards to the other story here, I'm going to say what I originally said in regards to it. The original story it makes reference to is almost certainly bullshit fantasy. I mean I don't doubt that somewhere out there it's actually happening, but it's the same thing with people who are smacking kids around, people who actually do those things aren't posting about it on the internet because they're too busy being ashamed or afraid they'd be arrested.

Yes, I agree with Sapphire. Don't worry too much about these stories, as they are 99.9% fantasies. People want to imagine themselves in a "young" place so that becomes the setting for the fantasy.

Hi anonimacy, I personally have never read one of the stories you describe regarding the physical punishment of minors. If I had I would most definitely object to it.

Heaven,
http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Feel-Your-Never-To-Old-For-A-Spanking/1799180

I actually have commented in groups that feel corporal punishment of children is acceptable. I objected, and pointing out why. But as is so often the case when here on EP you point out why something someone is doing may not be a good thing, I got personally attacked.

Yup...happens to me all the time...today about my religion. Sometimes I just wanna say "seeya EP"

I know. Isn't it amazing how some people will come into a group that they are against and ***** and complaint about people coming into the group they are in favor of and expressing their dislike for it, and suggesting those people should stay out of their groups and only remain in the groups they like. How hypocritical. They see nothing wrong with doing the very thing that they are chastising others for doing, but to a lesser degree.

Whats even sadder is when its another professed Christian. So hypocritical...

Thank you very much SunniL.
I have read some of your writings and I find myself agreeing and respecting most of your opinions. I find you intelligent, wise and thoughtful.

*blushes*
Aww thank you Jane :)

This particular group is something needed just for adult discussion, not argument.

I can't say I agree or disagree with these type of relationships, just out of not wanting to be a hypocrite on my part.
I will say that I disagree with the out on edge way these people tend to be over anyone saying anything critical about how they live.

You simply cannot live in this day and age and honestly expect people to understand it. It has been that way for centuries and arguing over it will not stop it. But adult discussion and input will at least help those of us not getting it understand it just a little better.

We in the BDSM community that are responsible communicative individuals that can explain or at some point communicate our unhappiness so that the said Dominant can adjust what he/she is doing - even in a TPE relationship make little sense out of their world.

That was so for us not all that long ago and is still like that for the most part.

*rolls eyes and gets nauseated at the having to even entertain my next words*
50 Shades has explode open a lot of that for us. In some ways for the good as it has opened the line of communication for several people. Bad in other ways as people just don't get it and are using that piece of fiction to learn about the BDSM Community. In my opinion, not in a good or healthy way.

Oh ya, I could go on for days and days. Instead... if you all like, I can cross post my story on TiH, DD, etc from my group blog?

I am very sorry to hear that Bohica. Your input and opinion are respected by me. I welcome your perspective any time.

LOL

Actually this is their group ;)

Lol...It shouldn't be about ours and theirs but about making each other understand each others' point of view. And I guess barring a few exceptions this has been nicely done :)

Jimena, yes, I noticed that after I posted. But kind of the same thing to create a group which is nothing more than "I disapprove of so and so."

It's ok to disapprove. But I tend not to read stories that nauseate me - things about people pooping in diapers etc.

Alex,
I assure you what I feel is not thrilling. I am often disgusted and appalled. Alex you're the bore.

Methinks you protest too much, Jane.

Alex is it your habit to come into groups that you are opposed to and post on stories that you disagree with by saying "How about you retire to the feminist groups where you are comfortable, instead of constantly invading other people's space? It's a bore." and then responding several more times?

What, I can't respond, and am to remain mum when someone creates a group that exists only to attack and belittle others? It's not like this group is "I am a happy feminist." It's "I am against DD people" and the author even refers to dominant men as "jackasses." I don't go around creating groups just to shame people, but I can certainly defend a trespass.

This "group" consists of two stories. The other story was a direct result of abuse on a DD story.

@ Alex - There are plenty of anti-feminists who have created anti-feminist story groups; they are against people too. Furthermore they take upon themselves to redefine what it is that feminists are about. If you want equal rights for women and you're a man they call you a mangina, and if you want equal rights for women and you're a woman, they call you a feminazi.

Personally I think gumshoe is wrong here but you know what? She has as much right to be wrong as anyone else - including you

Damselfly, I would not identify myself with such "anti-feminist" groups. I don't think HOH/DD implies that a woman is anything but an equal to a man. It's fundamentally a sexual practice and an exploration of archetypes. And it is a happiness-producing sexual practice (which is why I think attempts at shaming should be resisted vigorously on EP, lol).

Yes to the last sentence, and that's where the judgers' heads really start to explode.

Heaven,
My guy doesn't believe that this actually happens, he feels it is all fantasy. he makes fun of me for getting all worked up LOL.

Too common a fantasy though, not to be experimented with for real in many cases though, don't you think? It is quite a practical way to live after the first couple of years and you can anticipate your partner's wishes and reactions

who knew spanking someone would translate into the ability to read minds ; )

My husband read some of those stories and laughed too. Then when we were getting intimate he spanked my tush and said in a very comical voice "you are a very naughty girl who deserves to be punished for disagreeing with some people and explaining why - shame on you". I couldn't help starting to crack up and then he did too. We both had to stop laughing so hard in order for us to resume where we left off. Then when I went to the bathroom I got out the permanent marker and wrote on my tush "PLEASE NO TIH". After seeing that we had another round of laughter.

Any time my friend!

Men in this kind of relationships hardly ever get absolute power. I know some of them write a lot of fantasies, but in real life ? I don't think so. I know my husband doesn't have it. The way we raise our children, for example, is mostly decided by me. I used to be the one spending all the time with them after all. As for accepting his mistakes, he has no problem either. He has never pretended to be perfect. Why would he? I asked him to be in charge, not to be perfect. And besides I am very respectful and warm when he admits being wrong. I think accepting your own mistakes is a great treat in a leader.

As for the reasons? Believe me, I've done my share on researching and nothing seems to relate. I know when going against the flow, you risk to be regarded as a victim (in the better of cases) or a pervert (in the worsts). Homosexuality was considered a deviation till very recently (well, some still believe it's a perversion). Same goes for BDSM, which was finally removed as a mental deviation by psychiatry.
You know, many people believe this was our "natural order " in the primal state of human beings. Are we less developed than you? Maybe! I am open to accept whatever explains our differences. Though sometimes I think humans are too complex and varied to assume there's a "correct order ", especially when talking about sexuality.
Whatever the case, I guess we'll have to keep waiting. No expert will risk a proper study if it means going against the politically correct flow.

Bohica,
I agree with you. I want to thank you for wading in here. It is refreshing to come across a guy who actually likes and respects women. You are a sweetie.

Thanks, some of my favorite people are women. ;)

Although it seems as though I've stirred up a hornet's nest...yeesh.

Thank you for explaining. I do appreciate the input and the fact that you are treating me with kindness when I may not deserve it.

In every relationship there's always an element of "punishment ". Silence treatment, yelling, passive agrresive behaviour, sex denial... This is not much different, apart from the "punishment "element of course, lol.
As for the who disciplines him, I agree with you, It's like assuming a high position at work. You love the status, you love the privileges, but you need to work hard to maintain your role as the boss.

I have to disagree with you on this one. All those things are are just human behaviors, they're not intended to punish another person. They may be behaviors born out of frustration or a lack of communication, but the intent is never to punish the other person. An adult relationship is a partnership, with each partner contributing equally to that partnership. Sharing responsibilities and decision-making duties, and even menial tasks like cleaning the house, etc. What you have is an immature relationship, one that is reminiscent of a parent/child relationship. But that kind of relationship is only meant to be temporary, while the child is learning to make his/her own decisions. If you observed an adult child still depending on a parent to make decisions for them and to dole out punishment, wouldn't it strike you as unhealthy?

As for people who say there is a historical or evolutionary precedent for male dominated relationships...you are correct, there is. Or was. But we don't live in that world anymore. And if we've learned anything in our time on this planet, it's that we either evolve or we die.

Bohica9, If you've never been there, Congrats! However you'd be surprise at how many people (conscious or not) punish their partners is such ways. I mean, really... talk to a marriage counselor. It's pretty common.
As for the rest of your post, I assume you consider my intimate life not healthy and less evolved. And that's fine with me. Maybe you should work on accepting differences, though, since "our times "seem to appreciate tolerance and open views. You wouldn't want to be left behind.
Anyway, the world to me is the reality you choose to create everyday. My reality is different from my neighbour's and is certainly very different from yours, so I wouldn't dream on judging anybody else's decisions regarding how they choose to live their life. Especially their sexual life!

Don't call my relationship immature. We've been together for longer than most other couples I know, we don't blow up at each other, hell we are rarely even disrespectful to each other, and most certainly never in public. We have such open and intimate communication, we're very in tune with each other's needs and love doing little niceties for each other. If the alternative is supposedly some egalitarian mature relationship, I've been there, and I see it all around me, I'll gladly take my apparently immature childish relationship instead.

I prefer my 19 yo immature relationship too. In fact, the "mature " ones seem to find us really cute, lol. I won't tell our secret of course :)

bohica9 you are just wrong. Who do you think you are, pronouncing on other people as if you knew anything about them? Who do you think you are imagining that everyone has to be the same as you? Do you really imagine that everyone is the world is identical in what they desire, and what their capabilities are?

Bohica, the high divorce rates do not at all suggest that relationships are evolving in a positive direction.

CC,
The high divorce rates are due to selfishness and infidelity as well as stress.
Egalitarianism has been exceptionally beneficial for those who embrace equality.
Complementarianism can work as well IF both husband and wife embrace distinct roles within the relationship.
I don't see one system as being superior to the other. However personally I could never live the way some of these women live.
Each to their own as long as both people in the relationship are happy I guess.

Look folks, I am in no way implying that everyone has to be the same as me or has to have the same relationship dynamic. What I am saying is that just because a behavior is unique doesn't make it right. I think we can all agree that exhibiting sociopathic behaviors makes one unique, but not necessary a mentally healthy person. Should we just accept a sociopath's "differences"? If you grew up in a environment of abuse and went on to believe that abusive behaviors were the norm, would that make it ok?

Now before everyone jumps on me, I'm not calling anyone a sociopath or a victim of abuse, I am simply using it as an extreme example. I am certainly not judging anyone or anyone's relationship, and you are certainly free to live your life however you want. It just seems that these types of relationships are ripe for abuse, mental or otherwise, so I'm just trying to stimulate some discussion and maybe some self-examination.

I do find it interesting that people who are in this type of relationship seem to respond so defensively to discussions about it. Again, I'm not attacking anybody here, I'm just voicing my opinion and trying to stimulate some discussion, it's nothing personal.

"I do find it interesting that people who are in this type of relationship seem to respond so defensively to discussions about it. Again, I'm not attacking anybody here, I'm just voicing my opinion" No, you were attacking, and it's disingenuous to do that and then suggest that exhibiting the normal response to attack somehow discredits the ladies.

Thanks CC, you're a gentleman.

" What you have is an immature relationship, one that is reminiscent of a parent/child relationship"
That's judgmental. Period. If you don't like others to defend themselves while you are "stimulating some discussion and self examination " then I suggest you to improve your empathy and debate skills. That was not a polite comment and you know it.
What's more, I find it really childish the way you're retiring from this discussion. Throw a stone and then hid your hand. (Spanish saying )

Thank you for explaining some of the dynamic to me and for being so nice. I have never thought you a nutcase or kinky pervert.
Live and let live... very wise.

I would add that one of the most attractive things about the lifestyle is the attention you get as a woman. Sure, not everyone likes so much attention but for me, knowing that I am endlessly fascinating to my husband is a fabulous turn-on. Another very attractive things is that I know I can be sure of him; he's too busy being interested in me and everything I do to stray

Gypsy it just makes me so angry. I mean who the hell do these jackasses think they are anyway?
What really amazes me is that these wives in these marriages claim to respect these goofballs, If my hubby treated me in this way I would lose all respect for him and likely my lunch!

oh yea when i read the story where a women had her ipad took away and was grounded made me sooo angry.. my husband told me to calm down lol.....

i told my husband, if she tried to do that to her husband, i bet there would be hell to pay ..

I know! That is why I find this lifestyle so wrong. It feels so one sided and mean.

yes it does seem one sided

Well it isn't one-sided. It satisfies us both, immensely and intensely and passionately

anyway gumshoe, why do you care if people live a 'wrong' lifestyle as long as they aren't trying to make you live the same way too?