I Am Against Forced Arranged Marriage
I am searching for an outlet for what I just went through. I really liked this guy who has finally given up on the idea of a happy life and just went back to his arranged marriage. He is from Afghanistan and has been living in the U.S. for 10 years. He told me when we met he was trying to escape an arranged marriage with his relative. I couldn't believe what he told me. I guess in his culture its perfectly normal for the parents to set you up with one of your relatives for a marriage. His "wife" is his second cousin. He separated from her because he was unhappy, and when he met me he explained that the pressure he was under from both his parents and her parents was too much for him.
He is back with her and I am leaving his life because I don't want to be apart of the situation if I have to sneak around and live in hiding. I know he is not in love but I also don't want to further damage anyone. He doesn't want me to go but I can't be the mistress on the side, that is way too sad for me. I just wanted to say that this is one of the saddest things I have ever been through. He told me he is well aware of how terrible the situation is, his parents are from the same type of arranged marriage, they refuse to listen to his cries of unhappiness. This is inhuman. Despite my subjective views on him personally, I cant help but suddenly understand the millions of unhappy hearts this barbaric old rule has wounded. There must be many others like me who are powerless to be with some one they like because in the end that person feels unable to get themselves free. For what ever reason he doesn't feel like he can get out of it and would rather have an affair, something I can't live with.
He told me he prays to god that they don't have kids because the rates of genetic disorders in his culture are very high because of this practice.
I am escaping the situation because it feels so wrong to me to be the hidden woman, but I feel agony and rage about the situation. My thoughts and prayers of freedom go out to any that are effected by this abusive old custom that needs to be gotten rid of . This is a new time, when people who are in love should be free. Lets evolve to a place of freedom.
He is back with her and I am leaving his life because I don't want to be apart of the situation if I have to sneak around and live in hiding. I know he is not in love but I also don't want to further damage anyone. He doesn't want me to go but I can't be the mistress on the side, that is way too sad for me. I just wanted to say that this is one of the saddest things I have ever been through. He told me he is well aware of how terrible the situation is, his parents are from the same type of arranged marriage, they refuse to listen to his cries of unhappiness. This is inhuman. Despite my subjective views on him personally, I cant help but suddenly understand the millions of unhappy hearts this barbaric old rule has wounded. There must be many others like me who are powerless to be with some one they like because in the end that person feels unable to get themselves free. For what ever reason he doesn't feel like he can get out of it and would rather have an affair, something I can't live with.
He told me he prays to god that they don't have kids because the rates of genetic disorders in his culture are very high because of this practice.
I am escaping the situation because it feels so wrong to me to be the hidden woman, but I feel agony and rage about the situation. My thoughts and prayers of freedom go out to any that are effected by this abusive old custom that needs to be gotten rid of . This is a new time, when people who are in love should be free. Lets evolve to a place of freedom.
By:
cloudtalker
Age:
31-35
,
Female
