A Rare But Serious Danger

Parents may spank their kids because they were spanked growing up and believe it helped them.  Parents may spank their kids because they are frustrated with their child's behavior and don't know what else to do.  But I do not think any competent parent would spank his or her child if they knew that there was even the slightest chance that their actions may cause any degree of sexual arousal and serious confusion.

People think of kids as being sexually neutral - with no capacity for becoming aroused before puberty.  This is simply not the case.  Arousal, in some degree and form, may occur at any age.  There may not be any obvious external signs of this arousal, but it can and does happen.  It is exactly this fact that terrifies me - why do some parents spank their kids when there is a chance that their actions may "turn on" their kid before he or she even fully knows what that means?  The part that is struck is a well-known erogenous zone, and the entire "ritual" of spanking basically mirrors the sexual act - anticipation, build up, plateau, and release. 

I suppose that most parents simply don't know about this danger, or they ignore it.  Either way, it terrifies me to think that this kind of sexual conditioning is going on right now.  I wish parents would just get a clue and abandon this ancient and twisted custom.

deleted deleted
26-30
8 Responses May 3, 2009

There is no such chance. In my years as a marital and family counsellor I have interviewed hundreds of adults who have a spanking fetish, and there is virtually a 50/50 split - half were spanked as children and half were not.<br />
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The simple fact is that a spanking fetish, as all other fetishes do, develops naturally, and the vast majority of sexually aware adults have one or more fetishes. There simply is not any single triggering factor in the developemnt of any fetish.

Spanking may instantly control the children when they're young but they and you will pay for it later. Maybe unspanked children seem wilder when they're young but when they grow up they're better people than spanked children. I have a friend, for example, who was never spanked, and she is more mentally healthy and more of a good person than most of the teenagers I've ever met. She doesn't do any drugs, gets straight As, and is very kind and well liked. So all this bull that they're going to be wild and out of control and bad people when they grow up is exactly that, bull. Not being spanked doesn't turn you into a bad person. I have a teacher who wasn't spanked when she was little and she's a perfectly normal, good person too. there is proof everywhere that you don't need to spank. You're just too stubborn to accept it. You'd rather sit there trying to discredit these perfect examples and reasons.

And where did those facts come from? They're well known and have been proven time and time again. The american pediatrics association even highly reccomends not spanking your children. Spanking, especially for girls, is unhealthy psychologically. Just because you were spanked and turned out fine doesn't mean everyone else will. A lot of people don't, and some never even figure out why and live miserably. We're not you, ok? That's great for you greatlakeprincess that you're fine after it but I myself am one of those people that learned to associate pleasure with pain because if it and have had psychological problems because of it.

Actually in the animal kingdom it's the opposite. And animals don't discipline. People are the only animal that want subordinate children. Animals just raise there young til they're big enough and ready to fend for themselves, and humans keep their children captive past that point, way longer they need to, with the help of the police and their guns and weapons and force. Technically a kid is sexually mature and big enough at ages 9-13 and that's when they'd leave home in the wild if humans hadn't lost their instincts. Anyways, animals only swat their kids if they're trying to play with them when they don't want to. And never on a strange, sexual, personal area like the butt. You've never seen a lion with a spanking fetish now have you. People get fetishes from it because butts sensitive areas, the nerves of which link directly to the genitalia, which is why it turns people on to get spanked. I don't believe in spanking. I don't know why pro spankers are commenting in this group trying to change minds. It's not gonna work. You're just going to anger the anti spankers.

Then what is the solution. How do you discipline a child who is pushing his boundaries?<br />
The threat of taking love away and substituting pain and displeasure has worked for years. But beating the hell out of kids is a totally different manner.<br />
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My dad was able to get control through a series of warnings before he actually had to get up and prove his point. No one wanted it. Not even my dad, but growing up in a house hold full of boys, we were a handful and I will even say that I probably deserved some of what I got, cause I was pushing back.<br />
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Lots of theories goes right out the window when it comes time to practice your art.

spanking dosen't help, i almost turned bad instead of a goody goody because of it.

I'm with grandlakeprincess<br />
62. <br />
My mother had a friend who would bring her kids over to our house and they would run amuck. I found them in my room bouncing on my bed, and going through my stuff. I was like 16. I told the mother to get her kids out of my room in which she told me not to yell at her kids. <br />
I told her, get your brats out of my room before I discipline them. She was offended told my mom who tried to hit me. Say what? So I grabbed the kids and threw them out of my room and locked the door. <br />
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My point - If your not going to spank, you sure as hell better find a pretty convincing way to get them in line or the world will take care of that for you later on. <br />
Far better to do it when they are young than to explain how you were raised was possibly not socially acceptable.

Where did you get those facts? I was spanked as a child, not all the time and not when my parents were angry at me. In the animal kingdom the way mothers dicipline their young is by swatting them, not spanking but they envoke a certain amount of physcial pain that teaches them. Some adults get sexually arouses by spanking but if children are....... there must be something else going on. I don't believe that spanking should be used in every case but if your toddler runs out into traffic, your going to have to do something besides put them in time out. With a lot of kids, it just makes them more angry. I think a swat now and then as long as you don't get carried away with it can work. Although if it is used, it should be as a last resort and not done when the parent is angry. If the United Nations have their way, it will be against the law and dicipline will be in the hands of the government. If you want to ground your teenager for staying out too late, they can challenge you in court and the govt will decide if it is appropriate. My brothers and my sister were spanked while growing up. I don't believe that foster kids should be spanked because they mostly have a history of being abused. I want the link to the research that says spanking sexually arouses children. I probably didn't get spanked enough as a child. I was the baby and got away with a lot.

we are not ******* animals we are humans with logic.