Producing Fear Can Be Beneficial!

 I was abused in every way as a little child until age 13...when I got up in the middle of the night ( in my sleep) and went to the kitchen and got a knife. I stood over my father's bed until he woke up. I did not say a word and to tell the truth have no memory of it. He asked me the next morning what I had intended to do. I faked it at that moment and just answered " What do you think?" I scared him enough that he never touched me again. He then started on my little sister. I could not wakefully stand up for myself but I did stand up for her. I just said to him " My sister is actually more important than I am. What I could not do for myself, I may actually do for her."

I doubt I could have ever actually hurt anyone, but the fear I produced in him changed a lot of things...as far as continued abuse, but the scars ran deep for both me and my sister for years to come.

I do not condone violence. I do believe though that people can be pushed to their limits, and do things to end their suffering that would not be a part of their normal personality.

When I see these children being tormented at school. I think....better be careful to not push them over the edge. Bullies, Tormentors, Abusers BEWARE!

karleighreynolds karleighreynolds
36-40, F
2 Responses Apr 27, 2010

Actually I began to heal after I decided to forgive. Before then I felt anger all the time. I also found that before I forgave, I was no good for any other man. I was too bitter and held too much of myself at bay. I urge you to forgive. It does little for the one you forgive, but does wonders for you.

I am so sorry for your pain. I too suffered abuse as a child, but not at the hands of my father. I got my time to speak out just before the old man died. He was in an induced comatose state and I knew he couldn't wake up but I told him about how he hurt me and that I was glad he was dying a painful death. I also go and stomp on his grave periodically. It wears me out, leaves me in tears, and makes me weak for the time I am there but after I feel empowered for months.