I Want A Deeper Meaning To Life But I Can't Help Being Agnostic.

I tried so hard to be religious when I was younger but even at the age of 10 I had doubts because there was no logic to it. Why should I put so much faith into something I cannot see, hear or touch and has shown me no evidence that it exists? I was raised Southern Baptist and my father is pretty devout. I have read much of the Bible and know it about as well as any Christian. Yet, it simply seems to be just stories to me. Just an ancient culture's attempts at explaining our existence; just the same types of myths other cultures have. I have suffered a lot of pain in my life and when I look back on it and at all the others in the world who are suffering I find it difficult to believe in a loving god. Some say "oh he is just testing your faith." Well, why? Is god so insecure that he must constantly test people's faith to make sure they still believe in him? And he allows some to suffer while he lavishes blessings on others? Does god like to play favorites? He sounds far from "perfect" to me. If there is a supreme being I do not believe it is the loving father figure the Christian religion would have us believe. I feel it is more or less indifferent to out plight. Now that I am in my mid 20's and in college I choose to put more presidence on science and philosphy than religion. Even so, I admit sometimes I wish there was more to it all. I do not necessarily wish for the Christian religion to be correct because frankly I have lost most of my respect for that institution but I sometimes wish there was something supernatural out there. Perhaps that we actually do have souls, and some of us are connected to one another (i.e soul mates, twin flames) and everything happens for a reason. But to no avail, I have seen no proof of this either and my sense of logic will not allow me to put faith in anything I have no proof of. Perhaps life is just random and meaningless and we are simply here to make the best of it.
Onedayacometwillfall Onedayacometwillfall
26-30
2 Responses Jul 22, 2010

does lack of certain faith in an afterlife mean life lacks deeper meaning? I don't think that's so. It's about outlook. Does your life matter to you? It doesn't take belief in God to believe that things have purpose. It's like... if you do something wrong, the world keeps turning, but is that to say there is no right or wrong? no... life matters if it matters to us. Regardless of what may come in the end.

You are definetly a searcher! In time, you will come to a place of contentment. Research ALL philosophies and maybe you'll feel one that fits...........like clothes........