Why? Why? Why?

I'm not religious so I don't believe there is a higher purpose.  But I'm perfectionist and feel that as I am alive I should be doing something really great.  But I don't know what to do with my life.  I've tried several different walks of life and have earned reasonable money from some of them and almost nothing from others.  But I get bored quite quickly.  I'm not really committed to anything and I'm often bored or depressed.  I have low self-esteem and everything seems pointless.  I spend each day searching for meaning, trying to guess what it is that others find so interesting and important and wondering why they bother with what they do.  Sometimes I get involved with things and work frantically hard.  But then I step back and feel that it was all a waste of time.  Please someone - tell me what it is all about.

I really want to feel involved and make something good happen and have lots of friends but I'm not a very good friend myself as I never have the confidence to ring anyone up and even feel embarrassed to write to them most of the time.  It's a pity really because I'm quite clever and have useful skills, so it's a waste.

And if you are religious - please tell me what is the ultimate purpose of your creator.  Why did He bother?  If only I could grasp what His motivation was then maybe I could believe in Him.

CrystalCat CrystalCat
41-45, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2006