I Am Allergic To Bullshit
Okay so I'm floored that my last story on 'that guy' hit such a cord and got such rousing feedback; thanx all times a million! I have actually recieved some calls for a female version of this story, one that would call out that group of our dear lady friends who are complete and utter lunkheads right on par with the fellas...
And you know what? I've decided to oblige, for two very good reasons: 'that guy' was loads of fun putting together, so i figured why the heck not do one for gals? And second, let's just be honest, 'that girl' exists too, and she's not getting off the hook either!
So what exactly do i mean by 'that girl'? Come on, EP friends, you know what I'm talking about; 'that girl'! The girl who's best of friends, BFF, top dog mutha****** isn't a real physical humanoid per say, not even all her techno Steve Jobs-esque gadgets, no, this girl's best friend is the MIRROR; yup, 'that girl' who must've gotten the memo from Jehovah Himself that she is just stunning, we're talking drop-dead gorgeous, like a Hollywood starlet crossed with a divine feminine angelic cherub; i mean, this girl walks around all day long with that gait, that stride, the walk that says, 'yup you've seen it here first, I'm beautiful, and you're in love with me. And if you're not, well, you're obviously gay so i forgive you. God, doncha just detest 'that girl'? I mean, she's managed to convince herself that she has the key, that something, that makes anything and everything with a ***** trip over their adoration for her; and you know the funniest part? We've all seen women ten times hotter than her, and smarter and nicer too, so what da eff? 'That girl' is a real trip!
Ooh and let's not forget the girl who virtually throws herself at anything male, as if suffocating a dude with her number, or a text message, and general clingy presence is anything more than kinda stalkerish; or the girl who plays the part of naive, dopey-eyed schoolgirl just to impress some loser who only proves his loser status by wanting a girlfriend who has a bachelor's degree in bimbo playacting. Man, girls like that make me wanna shake some sense into 'em.
And how about the classic shopaholic? That girl who heads out to the mall as if she's going on a high tech spec op mission or something; this girl will burn a hole in her financial status buying about two dozen pairs of shoes that look kinda just like that two dozen pairs she bought last summer; I mean, SERIOUSLY? It's too painful of a cliche, doncha think?
And now we come to maybe 'that girl' who irks me the most, and I give advance warning that the following content may make you detest me, but hey, tough, I chastise those whom I love lol; I'm talking about the girl who just KNOWS she has got all male humanoids figured out down to a T; this girl feels she's an expert on all things DUDE, and needs only to hear a guy sneeze and she can tell his life story; I mean, this girl has turned herself into the queen of generalizations, and thinks she's proving her intelligence and wit, while only fashioning a sign for herself with NITWIT painted in bright red chalk and wearing it around her neck. ANNOYING!
I think we've all known 'that girl' at one point or another in our daily lives, and it's a real trip; I mean, you gotta think that women like that have gotta get outta breath being so, so...'that girl'ish, right?
And you know what? I've decided to oblige, for two very good reasons: 'that guy' was loads of fun putting together, so i figured why the heck not do one for gals? And second, let's just be honest, 'that girl' exists too, and she's not getting off the hook either!
So what exactly do i mean by 'that girl'? Come on, EP friends, you know what I'm talking about; 'that girl'! The girl who's best of friends, BFF, top dog mutha****** isn't a real physical humanoid per say, not even all her techno Steve Jobs-esque gadgets, no, this girl's best friend is the MIRROR; yup, 'that girl' who must've gotten the memo from Jehovah Himself that she is just stunning, we're talking drop-dead gorgeous, like a Hollywood starlet crossed with a divine feminine angelic cherub; i mean, this girl walks around all day long with that gait, that stride, the walk that says, 'yup you've seen it here first, I'm beautiful, and you're in love with me. And if you're not, well, you're obviously gay so i forgive you. God, doncha just detest 'that girl'? I mean, she's managed to convince herself that she has the key, that something, that makes anything and everything with a ***** trip over their adoration for her; and you know the funniest part? We've all seen women ten times hotter than her, and smarter and nicer too, so what da eff? 'That girl' is a real trip!
Ooh and let's not forget the girl who virtually throws herself at anything male, as if suffocating a dude with her number, or a text message, and general clingy presence is anything more than kinda stalkerish; or the girl who plays the part of naive, dopey-eyed schoolgirl just to impress some loser who only proves his loser status by wanting a girlfriend who has a bachelor's degree in bimbo playacting. Man, girls like that make me wanna shake some sense into 'em.
And how about the classic shopaholic? That girl who heads out to the mall as if she's going on a high tech spec op mission or something; this girl will burn a hole in her financial status buying about two dozen pairs of shoes that look kinda just like that two dozen pairs she bought last summer; I mean, SERIOUSLY? It's too painful of a cliche, doncha think?
And now we come to maybe 'that girl' who irks me the most, and I give advance warning that the following content may make you detest me, but hey, tough, I chastise those whom I love lol; I'm talking about the girl who just KNOWS she has got all male humanoids figured out down to a T; this girl feels she's an expert on all things DUDE, and needs only to hear a guy sneeze and she can tell his life story; I mean, this girl has turned herself into the queen of generalizations, and thinks she's proving her intelligence and wit, while only fashioning a sign for herself with NITWIT painted in bright red chalk and wearing it around her neck. ANNOYING!
I think we've all known 'that girl' at one point or another in our daily lives, and it's a real trip; I mean, you gotta think that women like that have gotta get outta breath being so, so...'that girl'ish, right?
By:
DIYman
Age:
22-25
,
Male
