forty years old ..half way through life they say so am middle aged ......but i feel like my life has been half lived .......i am riddled with anxiety ........i am unemployed i am childless and man less and am tired of my family thinking they care .......i am broke ........lodging in a house where i do not want to be ......feeling like a prisoner in my own sanity .....how can a person still be living like this at forty ......compared to others will surely make me lose my sanity ......where will i be for christmas probs by myself stuck in this room with the internet for company ....thats depressing ..thats suicidal ......my social problems never seem to leave me ....wow god take me from this misery before i do reach forty life has dealt me one hell of a bad hand ....i wonder if i could re shuffle!
psychicprayer psychicprayer
36-40
1 Response Dec 15, 2013

You left this message a long time ago, but I just read it. I am in the same boat friend. No one responded to it, and that can make you feel so alone and naked to share something so heartbreakingly real and have no one respond. Well, I'm out here, with the same feelings. No one seems to want to talk about this ****. The REAL ****. The **** that really matters, and keeps us up all night, or makes us want to sleep all day....and not wake up. I hope you see this, because I feel the same way. You're not alone, friend. I feel alone too. I feel all the things you wrote down. I want it to end all the time too...but hang in there...I feel stupid saying it, cause it doesn’t really do much good, but I'm telling you what I tell myself...Just hang in there. All we can live for is the hope that, at some point, SOMETHING will give, and we'll figure some **** out...and maybe life will get better. Despite our ******* ancientness. Despite how long we've been in the game, or how little we feel we have to show for it. Hell, I think that us still being alive WITH all these intense ******* emotions we're wrestling with is an accomplishment. Not everyone can feel how we do and NOT check out...I seriously hope you stick around and keep fighting for the hope of a better day. When you read this, please send me a message, and maybe we can share our misery...comrads in arms, and all that...I hope you'll accept this love from a stranger. Know that someone out there gets it, and has the balls to admit it. Not sugar coat the **** and pretend that everything is all sunshine, roses and inspiration. Sometimes you just have to say the **** no one else wants to hear. It scares people. Screw them. I hear you. I feel your pain. I care. Hang in there.