I Am A Sad Freak.

I hate my life i am a freak.I am a 20 year old man still at home.No girlfriend no life.No friends i am the one to get drunk at my cousins party.I am disabled and i got no job.So i don't blain people if thay don't want to be friends with me.But i wish to have friends.I hate geting bullied.It hirts when people are laffing at me.I have tried to kill my self it hirts so.
2012blueboy 2012blueboy
18-21, M
6 Responses Jun 19, 2012

oh and as for suicide-my son is BiPolar and tried 2 times. I told him what I just wrote you. And that killing yourself shows you learned nothing. Some beliefs think it sends you limbo, hell. Mutli-lives believe it just sets you back to the beginning and you start all over again at square one. In your previous lives-you must have done well to be offered up such a challenge as this-would be a shame to throw it all away to go back to life#1. If you choose to give weight to this way of thinking about life,..., and death-don't go there. My son, now 24yo has a wonderful life now-happy and yes dealing with his really crazy challenge,.., but he knows it's making him a better person spiritually and no challenge is too great when you just believe God would never set us up for failure. He wants to see us win! in 3-S

I have Multiple Sclerosis-and I can say that you need to find folks that have your own disabilities,..., really. You are not a freak, somethings are in your hand of cards dealt to you at the start. I believe in past lives-every life giving you more tools to make your energy better life after life till you have a wonderful being to offer up to Paradise. You are filling your tool box with tools to help with the next life. Get into groups of folks building a good life-those that are like you. You learn a lot from those older in lives than you. "How do you know an older soul", they're the ones happy and laughing and to which others say "How can that person be so happy-look at their affliction". And you know,..., the folks saying that show just how young their energy is for not knowing the answer.<br />
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It will be hard but you are not a freak-next life if you can build a good life here this time-you will have quite a few tools in your tool box and the next lives will be so much better. God never puts us in impossible positions-we do it to ourselves thru the choices we make. Stop the drinking-that maybe what is making you the clown-I don't know, but to be the party entertainment is of no good to you, and your cousins should rent a clown for the party, not depend on a family member that is different to supply the "Gosh he makes us feel good we're not him" feeling. NO BODY needs that form of abuse. You have worth, definitely imagination and talent-I looked in oh your art. You have social, emotional, and physical yearnings that are very possible to fill if you get in with the right bunch of folks-but you need to start learning "tools" to make it happen. There are outreach organizations that you can meet others that will help support you in your adventure-not keep you as a cheap form of entertainment. But it's up to you. I hope you can get your train on a different track and go far-you deserve it. All good things to you-S in SC

Please don't harm yourself... You are not a freak.. You are special and unique and was put on this earth for a reason. You did a great service to yourself by reaching out via this forum. Continue to use this to your advantage and also find other outlets that you are interested in so as to get out of that depressive state. You deserve to be here so reach out and grab life by the horns and seek fulfillment and enjoy all life has to offer !!!!!

it's ok to be a freak anyway. there are even cool songs about it! an australian band, silverchair, has a song called freak. and there's also the eels, beautiful freak, both song and album, it's a very sweet album all round. they work in well with a little alcohol, but not too much.<br />
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so what interests do you have, that can help you get out and meet people?

I am scaired to go out.

how about to a church? they're pretty safe places where you're likely to meet nice friends who will help you get out and do stuff.

Darkhart don't be afraid to go out the world is full of wondrous things to explore. You don't have to take a giant leap, small steps will do fine until you are comfortable enough to explore the world further. Maybe go in front of your home for fresh air for 5 mins and then maybe next time you can walk to the corner and back then after that maybe a walk around the block. Each step can help you conquer your fear. Go forth you are a warrior!!!!be fearless.....

Oh, please no! Diin't kill yourself! I also struggle with depression ay 16 years old and although when I am struggling, I never feel this way, Its becoming clearer that things can and will get better! I have some frieds but dont trust anyone necause I dont know how, because of all the times people have let me down or I do.t think tjeyll understand. The hope I gice myself amd the only hope I can give you is that God is tjere, he inderstands, he loves you, and is always listening. Talk to him especially when youre sad :( it really does help.

No, I don't think you are a freak because I have a lot in common with you too. Don't give up tho, dude. I ddnt have a life and use to feel like **** all the time too but now I'm decided to do something about it. I'm going to move to a new city and start fresh with the little money I do have. You can do whatever you want with your life too. I believe we are the co-creators of our life, try to weave things in the way you want them to be. I believe in you, my fellow no life friend. ;)