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Prison

life is my prison, the voices within my guards. I climb these walls of insanity, despair comes in waves, no where to run no where to hide. i scream but no one hears, life is my sentence, death my sweet reward. i continue threw life making all those around me believe i am ok, even though i am fading away...........this is my hell, this is my prison. a prison called agoraphobia.
deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 14, 2012

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Is this a medical diagnosed? or you have assumed this is your condition because of the symptoms? I'd suggest to look for professional help -- if you can-- even beyond the typical therapy or pharmaceutical solution. I can tell you that we share many similarities in behavior as for example I barely tolerate people's often "absurd" behaviors. Been alone is like a medicine and writing (like you) is such great way of coping with my inner feelings and fears. In general I can tell you that my approach to my condition (although often criticized by family and friends (almost none ja-ja!) is being of positive and healthy individualization in which I talk with myself often (not hearing voices though) and schedule "social events" with nature and people without them knowing that like when I go for a coffee or shop for groceries. I'm very nice with people (i feel their share of pain for their own existence) and have a clear understanding of how important is to be compassionate. Meditation, yoga, and lots of healthy readings helps me like you have no idea. I have to confess that I even have a inside cravings for being in love again like something I've felt in many years. I hope you find your way into coping with this disease/phobia and empower yourself eventually to recognize the beauty/excellence and other abundant qualities (like your writing!) that makes you very unique a special human being like me and the others. Good luck my friend!

Well how is your dail life living with your fear,and do you ever go out in public?

Im like you in some respects i just work cant be around people like catching the bus most of time im scared to leave my home.its just a safe place to live omg

Wow,you have agoraphobia.I just researched this up.I'm so sorry you've been living with this fear.By the way I love your poem and I'd like to learn more about you and your fear.It'd be nice to know what it is like to live in your shoes.