Help

I am 13 years old whenever i tell people the following story they tell me it's just part of being a teenager. So I stopped telling people I don't trust anyone. I would tell someone and they would tell everyone else, I want help with this, please.

 I would be sitting in a room filled with everyone I cared about, I would zone out, examine my life, and i felt like everyone in the room didn't care. Like they could just walk out of my life at any moment, and I would be the only one to cry about it. I closed myself off from everyone, they walked out of my life, and never came back.  Then I was alone, I was depressed and I started to hurt myself, I tried to commit suicide 5 times. I felt depressed and empty, like nothingness. When I would hurt myself I felt like I needed the pain to feel anything again. I just want it to stop. 

 I think I'm manic depressive, because my mom was, but I don't  want to go to a therapist because then i will have to go to a place where they can "help" me. I want to do this without medical help. Please give advice.

Vampz Vampz
13-15, F
1 Response Feb 7, 2010

i'm thirteen to and i think maybe being a teen is what is afecting me but then again maybe not..but the way i am is alot like you (i mean i even tried to kill myself not the smartest thing)i mean killing your self is not the smartest thing because for people like me who would care if i died...i mean people at school would still go on laughing and joking like normal and i would eventually be forgotten forever.but i am trying to make my lonliness and depression go away but its hard so lets get to a brighter future ok and try and forget the past of darkness