I Just Don't Fit In With Them...

I really want to love my family.  I do.  I try really hard to, and it's a lot easier when I'm away from them.  But when I'm with them I realize just how much I don't fit in with them and I feel really alone.  All of my siblings are really into sports.  They all play at least one sport.  I can't do it.  I've never been athletic.  My parents love going to see their sporting events.  I'm the wierd kid who sings and does theater.  And my dad and brother HATE theater.  I don't think my brother has been to a single show I've done in years.  He always has some excuse.  But more important than that is the fact that they are Catholic.  And I just can't agreen with the Catholic church.  I was confirmed because it was all  I knew at that point, but knowing more now, I just can't agree with it.  There is so much with that religion that I don't agree with at all.  My family goes to church together every Sunday, and when I'm home, they drag me.  I just sit there and feel so out of place.  I don't fit in with that and it's a huge part of their lives.  And I know it upsets them, and they are constantly talking about me like I'm some horrible person because I'm not a good Catholic anymore.  It's really hard because sometimes I feel like even my brother's girlfriend is more a part of my own family than I am. 
jennieileen jennieileen
22-25, F
4 Responses Jun 11, 2007

HI, I understand what you said. I would say, you cannot change people then you should change your feeling. I mean, Don't let it bother you if possible. No point to be unhappy if they don't accept you. Perhaps, time will make them understand you more then they may accept you. Moreover, you should create your happiness and move on with your life. <br />
I wish I could sing like you. *smiles*

I'm a strong individual, I can relate to this experience, both my mom and my brother are religious fanatics and I thinks it to a point that I don't want to speak with them much at all. <br />
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The weird thing about it is that I'm a Christian too, but I'm not a freak, they seem freaky, always preaching and more preaching, I think they have forgotten that I believe what they do but I'm cool. <br />
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It's not the only thing I like. The bottom line is that I feel your pain, I'm feeling it now, you have to be yourself or you are not real in the eyes of others and yourself. It's absolutely ok to be different, they sound boring! Theater sounds cool!

I am the same way with the church thing. I believe God is alot kinder than he appears in the Bible, where if a person makes one mistake he zaps them with lightning, or if someone speaks out against him, he stones them to death. I can't imagine wh ywe would worship someone like that. It would be like living in the colonies and having the British make you worship them above all else, and do whatever they say, and if you don't, you are either killed or emotionally hurt in some great way. Humor your family, but I suggest maybe you switch religions. I am Methodist. I believe my opinion about God and my opinion only. But when your family drags you to church, simply state that unless they come to one of your shows, you don't go to church. I was the odd one out too. Iam the cheerleader. And according to my dad, cheerleading is not a sport. When I was at Nationals, he was watching a Bears game with my brother, even when I was born he was watching college basketball. lol. You will find new people interesting (like your brother's girlfriend) because they show an interest in you, and are different from the family you were raised with. This is poerfectly normal. I have declared independancy from my family. Telling them I am my own person, and even though I'm under 18 and stil llive with my Ma, they treat me as a real individual. I express my beliefs freely and they are ok with that. I find an interest of friendship with my dad's girlfriend, and her son's friend. But I still love my family. Just make your family do something for you, since you do all this for them.

You are at a point in your life where you are discovering who you separate from your family. This is a very exciting yet unsure period, however, everyone goes through it. You need to identify what you like and what religion (if any) you identify most with and then you tell your family. I was always the odd ball and went against the grain, this was a mixture of a blessing and curse all at the same time. Families have the tendency to want to label their relatives and put them in a nice little preconceived box, when you go against that then there can be problems. Some of my family has come to accept my differences while others have rejected them. You have to determine for yourself what is reasonable from your family and what is not. I usually ask myself, "Would I take this from a friend?" If the answer is no, then I put distance between myself and that family member. Family by theory are suppose to love you no matter what, if they can't seem to accept your differences than are they adding or subtracting from your life? Spend time discovering who you are without your family, you may determine that you are more like them than you think or you may be totally opposite. There is nothing wrong with being you. There is something seriously wrong if someone does not accept your differences because of their own opinions of what you should be. Good luck.