Almost A Year Later

Nothing's changed. I tried going out. I got a chance with a guy that I loved for 4 years, and he left. I met another guy, he chose his disloyal, lying, long distance girlfriend before me. A girl, who just wanted the attention. And yet people laugh when I tell them I don't trust them.
Yesterday was very bad. Very close. All I wanted was for it to end. And I almost did. None of the people that promised they would be there if I needed were there. I wish I was brave enough to do it. To stop looking at those pills and actually take them.
I really can't do this much longer. I know I need help, but there's no one there.
Archetypal Archetypal
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

Hello Archetypal, I hope you are still there. I also am very alone. I often think, when I feel the pain in my heart, that that pain is caused by the fact that there is someone else out in the world who feels that same pain and the right order of things would be to meet that person and other people who suffer as much as me.
If you have a mother and a father and even brothers and or sister, than you are very blessed and you don't need to feel so bad at all.

Archetypal...When I was your age, I remember going to school and seeing girls who were in relationships with guys and they seemed incredibly happy. I was envious of them and was depressed that my life wasn't similar to theirs. Those girls dreamed of someday marrying their boyfriends and were convinced those guys would 'take care of' them. Many years later, I came across some of those ladies and guess what? They were ALL single-parents who barely survived on welfare, food stamps, and if they were lucky, they received an occasional dollar or two for child support. Some worked minimum wage jobs, others were still living at home with their parents and had no idea how to fix what was broken in their lives. As for me, I finished my education, went to college, worked, got married and had children, and when that marriage failed, I moved forward and continued to achieve. I had a nice car, a beautiful home, some good friends, and my options were not limited. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is it is important to focus on YOU and YOUR future right now. You will have great friendships when you put effort into attracting friends as you do men. Nurture relationships with family and other females; they will be your true support system.

Hey Sweet Thang,

You're almost ready for college, hey? I just say to stick in there. If there are friendship/relationships that you don't like, you don't have to stay in them. If there are situations that make you feel nervous or anxious, remove yourself from them. In the meantime, focus on your education. Learn as much as possible. So when the time to pick a major to major in you won't waste anymore time, effort or money. I say try a fast and ASK for Divine Intervention. Look up fasting online, try a 24 hour water fast and during this time pray pray and pray some more :0 Keep the fast between you and God. Remember to give it time. If relationships get you down, always remember one thing, you have the power to choose. Always take a deep look at what's going on around when you hang out with these people, see how they really work before you get attached. Take it easy.

Much Love