Ostrasized So Always Alone On Holidays

I always believed the good in people but when it comes to my family, I just can't believe it anymore.

It is my mother's fault.  She has a complete hatred of me and always has.  I am my father's only and favorite.  My mother hates anyone who gets any attention from my father.   For the last 15 years, she has purposedly avoided telling me of relative or family functions.  She has deliberately tried to isolate me from my relatives and after 15 years, she has done a fabulous job. 

Last Christmas, she asked if she could take my 1 year old son but not me to her side of the family's Christmas.  She told the host not to invite me but to invite my brother.  I and my son was not invited to Chinese New Year while my brother was.

Now, I told my dad about how I was making Thanksgiving dinner Sunday and we would be coming over.  What does my mother do.  She says "We are busy tommorrow but we can drop in briefly as we will be in Surrey anyway."  She wouldn't tell me where they were invited which means it's another relative event that yet again, I have not been invited too.

It hurts.  It really really hurts.  I can't help being born female.  I can't help that I got pregnant out of wedlock because I was raped.  Sure, I kept the baby but he is my family!  He loves me and I love him.  My family hates me.  Was it so bad that I didn't want to be alone and have at least one person love me!

I have a cousin in Scotland who says she would love me around up in Scotland.  Maybe I should move to Scotland.  Start fresh is a country that is truly my heritage.  Being half scottish and half chinese really sucks!  I hate the chinese side and part of me.
singlemom1254 singlemom1254
6 Responses Oct 9, 2010

i was broke hearted to hear your story i dont mean this wrong but i am glad i am not the only one alone on thanksgiving i am so sorry your family and you are not cohesive i miss my mom she passed several yrs ago and my dad wrote me a letter yrs ago that he nver wanted to hear from me again i dont even know if hes alive i had no invites this yr and could not embarass myself by going on facebook and tell friends i had no invites so i hope you receive grace and encouragement and if your heart yearns for a change of scenery i hope u go for it God loves u thru his son Jesus and thats the b est positive thing i can share grace 2 u (another person alone on thanksgiving and tears coming but if feels good)

i am a gay woman whose partner is in the closet with her parents. for the last seven years Thankgiving and christmas eve have not been spent with my partner and her children.. I have no family of my own and do the best I can on the holidays. I try to spend those holidays with a friend or two. Anyways, it hurts. No matter how Im told by my partner i shouldnt feel hurt, it hurts.. Does anyone understand or am i wrong for feeling so hurt and left out. Its very painful.

Your mom and my mom would make great friends...I say fukk em, theyre the ones missing out.

Move to my part of the USA. We could have the holidays together, because that is what my relatives have done to me. You sound like a nice person. Just cling to the hope that your son gives you. Whatever you do don't let your looney tunes family have even a look at your son.

Scotland is totally freakin' awesome.... Went there last year and loved it except for the cold!!! Yikes was it cold and pretty over cast, but sooooo beautiful. <br />
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I can totally relate to your family issues, I had a crappy start on this planet, but I learned early on that if I give in to anger, resentment, depression then not only do I have less than admirable parents, but I'm also in a bad mood. So I took all the energy I would have spent on being mad or hurt and turned it into creating a life filled with people, animals, plants that dig me and that I dig. Haven't looked back yet. Although it would have been awesome to have a great family life with parents that care and love you, I'm grateful for all that I have learned because of my start in life. People tell me I have a weird way of looking at things, but I've always felt that life is too short and precious to waste time on feelings that don't do me any good. If they (parents) want to be selfish, vindictive, hurtful then they probably don't feel good about themselves and need to lash out in order to hide their own insecurities or pain. Too bad for them, because they will probably have to come back and do it all over again! <br />
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Hope it works out for you and you feel better.

I am very sorry for your troubles and how mean your family is.