Not Just Valentines Day..

If it were just valentines day that I'm alone I could handle it..the problem is..I'm alone on every holiday. I just had a birthday two weeks ago..alone. Christmas..alone. Thanksgiving get the picture. And then, even if I'm invited to someones house (which isn't often) I don't feel like going because everyone there has a significant other with them..which leaves me alone and out of the loop. Why is it that some of us are seemingly destined to walk this earth alone ?
Arthayzlett Arthayzlett 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 30, 2011

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My parents were always thinking opposite , they always believed in different ideas , when being with them you had to take ' a side ' , you were either on your fathers' side or on your mothers' side - ... which makes me think that I perhaps dislike dealing with more than one person at the time ; in my mind , dealing with more than one person at the time already smells on chaos , arguments , taking sides , feeling quilty , not knowing what to say ... trouble ;

This must be the same mental illness mate ; I can't believe you said this in here - ... as

I too dislike dealing with more than two people at the time ;

which is why I run away from crowds or parties where you have ten uncles talking to you over another five friends from your eight best friends - I find this type of socialising pointless ;

I like communicationg with one person at the time ,

this is what I preffer ;

talking with a few at the same time is like reading eight books at the same time , it is fake and has no depth and is pointless ;

One on one - or simmilar is okay - I feel honest this way ; I can give of myself and I can hear the other person ;

Lately I wonder is this because I want to make sure that I can CONTROL the person I am talking to - maybe I want to make sure they like me , maybe I want to control their reactions by dealing with them one on one - ... I hope it is not the case ;

but if it really has to be more than oneperson at the time , well , Ok , I can take two at the same time . However , save me from having to deal with three or more noses at the time , meaning more than 4 ears at the time - what is the point - I can't hear them , they can't get much from me , it is all just fake thing , nobody can open up etc; there is no time ; no space ; nothing ;

I thought I was the only one who ever thought like that - see , you mentioned this thing too , so we must have the same type of ' disorder ' ... do you think we are controlling freaks ?

Maybe we can not take the idea of somebody not liking us so we take one ' customre ' at the time and ' work on them ' until they like us ? This is hard with three or five people at the same time , one of them won't like you it is a given , I mean you have no time to get to each and every of them and ' impress ' them , show them that you're no every - day phenomenon ;

Maybe we want to make sure we control all the reactions of the one person we are dealing with - which is hard to do - if you have three of them ? I mean , I hope this is not it , it sounds somewhat pathetic and I don't like to think of myself as pathetic , I'd rather be noble , lol ;

Also , my parents never gave much attention to me , this could be why being on one's own can feel as a natural way to be ;

thanks for bringing this out , I never thought someone else thought of this , cheeres

Be friends with people of all age and try to be a part of their lives,in this way u'll happy as there is always someone to talk to and share with.i had a lot of friends and i was single,never felt alone. So if u are single and not getting your significant other,try to be around your dear and near ones...u'll feel special.

I relate to this .

I at times feel mad because of the outrageous time I sepnt by myself ; I feel like there is something wrong with me , like I have ten heads and at least fifty eight eyes ... I feel like an outcast , a creature from out - of space destined for being alone this entire lifetime as well as the next one to come ... often , I feel like damned , no joke ; either damned or destined to only ever be getting even more and more alone with every passing momnet , for ever more , right into eternity where I shall explode from my mighty alone-ss ; it is a horrible thought ;

HOWEVER , I have no problems with finding people , it is just that I do not want them ; That too bothers me ; Does this mean that I have even bigger potential for alone -sssssss ... It is like as if I really don't think that I am lonely enough ; I mean - if I was I'd stop this long ago ; Even tonight , I can go and find some people , I'd go , move in with someone tonight if I was that desperate; tonight or next month , you get the drift ;

... with whom ?

Anyone ;

However , I am so far away from even wanting anyone , I still indeed preffer my empty space ; really , some times I feel damned because of that ;

but again - other times I feel chosen and special for the same reason -

Be it as it is - the fact is that I am alone ;

I am guessing , talking about you - that you indeed are on your way out ; It seems like you're done with it ;

When this happens , people usually come in ;

I am far from it still - it does not bother me enough ;

I often run away from anybody who can potentially steal my holy aloness from me ;

Sometimes I feel like a winner for being alone - just because by being alone and by myself and I put up with no screaming around me and no screaming at me - like it was a case when I was a kid . I so wished to be alone when I was a kid - but that was not possible ; There was always at least one adult face with a big nose staring at me and screaming their lungs into my personal space ;

Lately , I figured , this is why I can't get enough of my personal space in my old age , lol ; I felt for a long time as if only by having this personal space free from neurotics was to be winning in life ;

However - I also started to wonder if winning in life could perhaps be more

than being on your own

and having no loud mouth screaming at you on a dayly basis ; Lol ;

Whatever the sace , I really think that in your case - someone is coming your way ; You are clearly done with being on your own , I can not see you going that way for much longer , I really think we atract new people when we are ready , reading your post feels like you are ready ;

Use this time left to work on your self - worth , someone told me that a lack of the self - worth feeling has something to do with being lonely , not sure if they lied when they told me this ;

All the best mate ; Anne

Never thought of it thet way..but by looking at it from you're prospective I can see how I relate to what you said. I don't like crowds, I don't like to open myself up to more than one or two people at a time..hmmmmm

I think loneliness is a state of mind.

If you're missing the company of a significant other, put yourself out there and get dating. Remember that meeting the right person will happen when it happens, and mean time, have a good time and make new friends.

We all miss the company of others who are special to us at some time or other. I helped my best friend move back interstate years ago, and while she's only a call or email away, and I'm surrounded by fantastic people everyday, I know that there's a good chance no-one will fill those shoes again. But you never know.

There's a Buddhist sentiment that happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want. While I don't think you should give up looking for a missing part of yourself, I think there is wisdom in that saying.