the Right Time And Place

People who are lonely on Valentine's Day, listen up. It is FAR, FAR,FAR better to be alone on Valentine's day than to be with someone you are not right with.

Valentine's Day is a contrived Hallmark holiday that is meant for the masses to "remember" how much they love each other in the course of their busy lives. That, in and of itself is not a bad aim. But I'm over 40 years old, so listen to a village elder: When you're in the "right" relationship, you will not need a "special day" to go out of your way for your loved one. You will do it naturally, and you will do it with an open, kind and loving heart. That's it.

I guess this site is about personal experiences and not generic advice, so I'll relate a little tale. Long ago, I was in a relationship with a person that made my life hell. I didn't realize it at the time. I would plan the most romantic Valentine's Days that the Earth has seen and they would literally have zero impact. Nada, zilcho. We're talking cruises, getaways, cabins, fine restaurants, thoughtful presents-- in fact these were not just thoughful, but stressful and time consuming. I was hunting for the "perfect present."

And again, I witnessed no positive impact. It was more of a 'what haven't you done for me lately' versus a "I appreciate your every effort." That same effort with the right person would have made me a Hall of Famer Casanova.  I didn't get it  at the time-- I just kept thinking that I needed to try harder. WRONG. That extreme effort would not have even been necessary *in the first place* if we were right for each other.

So I'm glad to be "alone" on Valentine's Day, if that means I don't have a burdensome and strained relationship to deal with. I will keep looking for that right person, believing that love will find me and I will find love. Exchanging your well-being so you don't have to feel left out for one evening is a bad deal any way you slice it.
CasaChevyNova CasaChevyNova
31-35, M
4 Responses Feb 11, 2006

I have never loved anyone not even family I am emotionless and it makes me feel free I can hurt people without having any sort of remorse

I'll be alone on valentine's day, but through choice, rather than circumstances. I won't feel lonely or up-set, my hearts been broken to many times in the past. I have nothing left to give to any relationships, my romance pocket is empty.

Completely agree! I went through a similar situation, however it seems I often end up in such quandries. Thus, I have become more aware of such gaping imperfections in relationships, and get out of them accordingly. lol I am okay with having only myself and my story to keep me warm this Valentine's Day. Because, like you said, when the right person comes, I won't need a special day in order to feel special. :)

let's toast to that!!! =D