I Am Alone On Valentine's Day
You know... I hate Valentine's day... I realy do... those damn couples with their smiling faces and walking hand in hand... giving each other stuffed animals and chocolate and S***. o well... i guess I shall talk about what I did today
I left my night class tonight and while leaving I saw this girl... same girl I have seen almost every time I leave class because she apears to be heading to class at the time I leave class... Beautiful... simply beautiful... As we were about to walk past each other I think to myself "Hey... I am gona talk to her! I will do it this time!" and right as I felt my jaw muscles tighten, preparing to move... I get an instant flashback of the past... my old girlfriend from high school... Me sitting there trying to get her attention while she talked to all the other guys in the library and then when I have a 5sec conversation with another guy she gets angry at me and claimes I was not paying her any attention... The girl who left me for no reason at all to be with another boy... shattering my heart. Crushing it... kicking it and then proceeding to molest it without a damn care in the world... everyone treating me like I was the bad guy when I did nothing wrong... hating my life... my best friend at the time when I was on the phone with her one night with a dagger at my throat threatening to end my life telling me to do it and that nobody loved me... the sound of her laugh when I broke down into tears and dropped the dagger... her telling me I was not a man... being inlove with her for some strange reason and her stepping on my heart like it was garbage... and then as quickly as the images and thoughts shoot through my head, they vanashes.
It was then that time seemed to continue where it left off and I thought to myself "But this may not happin again... who knows, things might go well." However... I found myself lowering my eyes to the floor as I walked past her and thinking to myself "This is for the best"... I didnt talk to her. But its ok yea know? I mean... what would any woman want with me eh? I am just a broke, jobless college student. I have nothing to offer her and for me to have feelings of love for anyone is "Wrong"... It dosent hurt much... I am use to this.
I left my night class tonight and while leaving I saw this girl... same girl I have seen almost every time I leave class because she apears to be heading to class at the time I leave class... Beautiful... simply beautiful... As we were about to walk past each other I think to myself "Hey... I am gona talk to her! I will do it this time!" and right as I felt my jaw muscles tighten, preparing to move... I get an instant flashback of the past... my old girlfriend from high school... Me sitting there trying to get her attention while she talked to all the other guys in the library and then when I have a 5sec conversation with another guy she gets angry at me and claimes I was not paying her any attention... The girl who left me for no reason at all to be with another boy... shattering my heart. Crushing it... kicking it and then proceeding to molest it without a damn care in the world... everyone treating me like I was the bad guy when I did nothing wrong... hating my life... my best friend at the time when I was on the phone with her one night with a dagger at my throat threatening to end my life telling me to do it and that nobody loved me... the sound of her laugh when I broke down into tears and dropped the dagger... her telling me I was not a man... being inlove with her for some strange reason and her stepping on my heart like it was garbage... and then as quickly as the images and thoughts shoot through my head, they vanashes.
It was then that time seemed to continue where it left off and I thought to myself "But this may not happin again... who knows, things might go well." However... I found myself lowering my eyes to the floor as I walked past her and thinking to myself "This is for the best"... I didnt talk to her. But its ok yea know? I mean... what would any woman want with me eh? I am just a broke, jobless college student. I have nothing to offer her and for me to have feelings of love for anyone is "Wrong"... It dosent hurt much... I am use to this.
By:
Krie
Age:
22-25
,
Male
8
responses
