I Am Alone and Heartbroken On Valentines Day

My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. A month ago he called and asked me out to dinner. We had an amazing evening and expressed our feelings of love for each other. He told me he still loved me and I told him I loved him too. I left the next morning and did not hear from him for 10 days. He wouldn't return my calls. Finally he answered his phone on the 10th day after we had spent an intimate evening together and told me he was seeing someone else. He met this girl through a dating service and had been talking to her on the phone for a couple of months already. She lives in another state so he flew her round trip and she spent 10 days with him. I am sure those were the 10 days he ignored me after our date. She is moving here from out of state to move in with him! Not only am I alone on Valentines Day but have been devastated and severley depressed for the last month! I am so tired of crying and hurting every single day. I don't wish no harm on anyone but it makes me sick to think how happy he is with this woman and how he deceived me! She's like a total stranger practically! He even complained to my cousin that she was overweight and says he talked to her about it and she is going to lose weight for Him! She's coming all that way to live with a man who already dosen't accept her for who she is?!!! They think they know so much about each other because they have spent hundreds of hours talking on the phone and only met face to face a few weeks ago! Please someone give me some insight Is this crazy and absurd or what? I know I need to get over it but I don't know whether to cry more or be pissed off! I am in so much pain my heart is shattered!
cmost cmost
36-40, F
8 Responses Feb 10, 2007

These are some great words about heartbreak on Valentine's Day: http://www.exaholics.com/2014/01/29/surviving-your-first-valentines-day-alone-2/

Aw, that's AWFUL, Cmost! ((( HUG )) I'm sorry.

Hi there, don't feel so down. I was in your ex's position. I met a guy from another state and after talking and visiting it all seemed great so he moved to be with me. OMG _ talk about suffocation. He will realize that he will not be able to have any personal life whatsoever. This woman will be so dependant on him because she has no friends here. She will want to be with him 24/7. This will be great for both of them but after 1-2 months, trust me - it will become old. That's when he will start coming to you...and thats when you will be stronger to make the right decision. <br />
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I eventually got back together with the guy I left.<br />
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Listen sweetheart, I have one thing to say - men are dogs and they always come back sniffing around ALWAYS.

once again i relate.. my soon to be exhusband was a severe emotional abuser, always said the right things or anything he could to shut me up. i put up with it for six years.. i couldn't see the forest for the trees. you have to go thru your own timeline with your emotions, we're all different. i did my share of blubbering and feeling sorry for myself, then this might sound tacky, but... i picked up the phone and went on one of those chat lines (free for women) and for the last 11 months, have the most wonderful human being on earth!! i'm not saying that's the way to go cuz there's alot of jerks on those things too, but it sure got my heart out of my boots. now if i could only find girl friends to talk to.... lol

All of these comments are right, but I just want to add something. If he did this to you, then he doesn't deserve you AT ALL. As I told you before, his just a BIG JERK. Let him do whatever he wants, because after that, he'll regret it all. For me, it's a waste of time to even think about him. I know that it musta broken your heart when you both had that intimate night togethger and shared your feelings and then he betrayed you. Just take a little time and adapt to all of that change. It's just a matter of forgetting him and moving on, on your life. Sure, it can take you days, weeks, or even months, but then you'll forget it all. Just put on your mind that his just another person, and you'll meet more and more people, and that will help you too.

I AGREE WITH THE OTHER COMMENTS. I BELIEVE IT'S A CONTROL THING. I WAS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE, AND ALTHOUGH HE MAY NOT BE A PHYSICAL ABUISER, HE SEEMS LIKE A MENTAL/EMOTIONAL ONE. TO HAVE AN INTIMATE NIGHT WITH YOU AND TELL YOU HIS FEELINGS AND THEN NOT TALK TO YOU IS A FORM OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE. ALSO, TO ALREADY, AFTER HE JUST MET THIS WOMEN, TO BE ASKING HER TO CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT HER SELF IS ANOTHER WAY OF SEEKING CONTROL. MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T DARE ASK SOMEONE TO CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THEMSELVES WHEN THEY FIRST MEET. I THINK THIS OTHER WOMAN IS WEAK AND EASILY CONTROLLED. WHY ELSE WOULD SHE MOVE ALL THE WAY TO A DIFFERENT STATE FOR SOMEONE SHE DOESN'T KNOW?

It is a little crazy that he chose a complete stranger over you. I don't know, maybe he feels like he can control her. It is not fair to her either because she will probably be depressed for how she is being treated. I would be angry too if I were in your shoes and sorry you have to be alone on Valentines Day. ***gives flowers*** :)