Alone

I am alone in this world. No not alone alone but all by myself in a world far different than others might really think. Even as a kid growing up in a house full of misery who loves company. The ruler was more like a mini hitler not giving one crap and hated most of her brood. She just was nnot fit for this world but did little to enjoy the life kids should have had. Could not discuss anything with her, could not tell her my innerthoughts out of fear let alone one of my sibs who cared only for themeselvs.When 18 the door was opend a fist in my face and told in one word leave. Thus i was alone and no one cared it seemed. No one was there to guide me through the most dificult times and had to fend by myself. Who cared really? Many people around me were just real jerks. My employer did little but cared less. I was just an employee who had little and no one did give any help.

Living a life like this is miserable really but then wh really did give a concern.had few friends let alone female. Had no desire for special reasons and afraid to talk about the mistreatment from the past. Scared as hell to tell the parent just out of fear that she just might kill me. She tried a few times coming at me with a knife. Never hitting me with it but then hell who cared and was Alone in  my own special world.

Did get married but the second day knew right away what a mistake I had made and felt more alone than ever. Could not fully discuss things withher nor could i really come to terms with what there was. Alone and married hmm. How in the world do you deal with that? How does the woprld really treat one and yet am doing my part on the other side of the world. Teching oral English and yet feel good about those whom i deal with. Smart, energetic, interesting while giving more to life than my sibs.So this is life being alone. I wonder how the poor lonely dog on the street feels?
honey624 honey624
56-60, M
1 Response Aug 1, 2010

I understand exactly where your coming from. When my mom felt like it it was if you don't come home tonight don't come back yet when her boyfriend was coming she'd tell me don't come home tonight.<br />
So I moved out. I have no relationship with my siblings and none of us have one with our mom.<br />
There is nothing worse then living with someone yet feeling alone. It does happen, so I choose to live alone cause if I'm gonna feel this way I now have a reason I am!