My Sob Story...

I am 20 years old and I have done nothing with my life. My parents are divorced and both remarried. Up until I was 18 I was fairly happy, yes I was a nerd, an outcast. I didn't have many friends but the few I had I would die for. I was a child at heart, living in a world of fantasy. When I turned 18 my life made a turn for the worse within 3 months my family expected me to give up everything I knew. I was no longer babied, they pushed me to grow up. Yelling and telling me a 18 year old young women shouldn't weigh 200 lbs, shouldn't have just a handful friends, and shouldn't be the lazy ungrateful ***** that I was. I broke down, I turned to cutting myself, it was a very well kept secret and only 3 people in the world know i've done it. I'll admit I got a little moody and by the end of the year I lost most of the friend I had with only the 3 staying by my side. One of them I was alot closer to then the others. He and I would stay up late talking on the phone or texting each other. I slowly fell in love with him...and well that was a mistake. He's gone from my life now toleaving because he only wanted a friends with benifits relationship, and when I stopped messing around with him he took off leaving me alone. Both of my otherfriends have boyfriends now and can barely squeeze me into there busy schedules. I see them maybe 3 times a month and the rest of my time I'm at home doing chores and other tasks my family needs done. I try not to complain because I'm a very strong person I don't want people to pity me, I just needed to get it off my cheast and know someone would read it. I've been holding my depression a secret for about five years now, slowly finding my own ways to cope with whatever is going on. Things are getting so much harder now as I really have noone to talk to. I guess I'm just lonely.
sgtsatine sgtsatine
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 20, 2011

Glad you shared your story! I'm in a simular situation. We just need a better environment to grow in. Relatives and other people won't get us until we can find a place to make it in. Depression is also a battle. I've cut a little bit, too. That doesn't make you a bad person. Remember, it's not really "us" but the circumstances! I come from divorced parents, too.