In That, ' **** Everything' Mood.

I'm sad, so ******* upset. Sat here Crying my eyes out. I pushed myself away from my 'ex boyfriend, and broke up with him because I'm in love with someone else, over on the other side of the world. I miss him, my ex, because obviously, there are still feelings for him remaining in my head and heart. I need him, although he hardly tried to help, he was still there. I need him, I feel so horrible for what I did. My now EX boyfriend is already a bit ****** in the head. What I did, is going to make everything else so much worse with him. Though I did start dating him whilst he was already with someone, and that is not like me do that, at all. So I had to stop, I told him, it wasn't right or fair. Its been about 5 months since we got together, and he said it hasn't bothered me before, so why now? Which I understand, but I knew he loved his other girlfriend so much more than me, he only ever talked to me properly when it was just about sex. Or if HE was upset. I told him everything, and before he deleted me from his life, not taking into consideration that what i was doing was the right thing and said.
I hate you.
And guess what, you ARE a **** up.
Goodbye.

Now ive tired to have a good day with my sister, but obviously, that wasn't what i wanted.  Got into a stress with each other, Im 14. Shes 20 ******* 3. Calls me immature *****, for doing the intelligent thing, walking away. And a cow. Thanks. My bipolars  so bad right now, so i cant help being a **** sometimes. :( I hate it. 

I have no one to talk to, im alone.