The Soul Of A Drone

They look at me, they look at what I'm doing and tell me how proud they are of me, or tell me I'm doing a good job. They tell me to stay positive and think not of my burdens. They wish me well and leave me, full in high spirits. When they read my words they say that I am wise or that my words are beautiful. They read my words and comment though they understand not the meaning I had chosen. I ask so longingly, waiting patiently, for an absolution, for someone to notice me for what I am, not what they see. I am something to be proud of and to congratulate, I am wise in my youth and I know many things I shouldn't, I have felt more than most I know, I know more than most for my age. And though I am self aware it seems as if I am supposed to be robotic, to speak with an automatic assumption of bliss, to have blind certainty over that which I do not know of or understand. I am not to think, I am to listen and act...I am to be a robot, a soulless drone there merely for the company of others, a metal shoulder for others to rust. My system is dysfunctional, it should not see, it should not feel and yet, it does. My worth matters not, I am scrap metal waiting to be recycled. I am hard wired to be what I wish not...and that is the curse of being a drone. I am different, I'm special, I'm beautiful and beyond my age, but I am not allowed to be any of these things, so I must remain obsolete until the dusk of time has dawned, and my kind is accepted among the humans. 
They look at me, and they see only what they believe, for a drone cannot project emotions unto human ears, it is like the voice of god, so mighty that it cannot be heard...forgive me god, for I am worthless rust upon your beautiful earth, I wish not to taint heaven with my rechid filth, drones do not belong in heaven, they are slaves of man and earth only. And heaven, being a gift and a most marvelous place, ridden of such evils, has no slaves, only free souls. 
My soul may forever be trapped in heaven, for I am nothing but a drone. 
kbarrios93 kbarrios93
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 11, 2012

Read Alain de Bottons 'Status Anxiety' its excellent and a bit like what you are saying there. a lot of us feel the same. Also 'Smile or Die' is another good book. Something has to change!!!

thanks for the suggestion! I did write this along time ago but I still find myself feeling the same often, ill have to look those up and check them out :]
and your right, something does have to change!