Experiences That Came Early

What seems to be a childhood full of ups and downs, came with a volume of despair...
As a 13n year old child, I was normal. I was a bit scared of taking changes, kinda fat and a bit lonely. It was pretty normal cause a lot of kids go through the same circle. What I didn't know was what was coming next.
I had something called opticle neurities. My vision was blur from the one eye.
That forced me to go to the doctor and made my parents act like crazy people, forcing me to be the adult in that situation. I had an MRI on the brain, plenty of blood tests and something called puncture on the spinal cord.
I come from a country that lives off corruption. Unfortunately doctors do so too. My doctor never anesthetized me for the puncture and no one told me that the pain was excruciating. Fortunately, I could handle pain and I didn't faint the two times that they tried this in 24 hours.
In conclusion, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. My parents didn't take it very well. Actually, they never took it. They kept on living their lifes based on what they thought they would be if I didn't have a health problem. Sometimes, that is good but if you keep that up for too long, the kid ends up with no need of parents and friends and goes out to live and survive life alone.
That is me today. Today, I am 19 years old and I share nothing with no one.
I am here because I want to change that. I want to make myself believe in people again but what I see everyday makes me go further away. I see all the kids problems being about parents that don't give them money or about their sex life or about objects they never obteined and it makes me realise how "small" they are.
In my life, I had to fight for the change, I had to fight to get things right, make myself what is now.
I once was overweight, sticking with computer games all day and my only <> was from the computer chair to the fridge and back.
I ended up being 258 pounds at the age of 16n.
I was sick of myself, sick of what I'd become. Sick of my parents being fine with everything and sick of that god damn computer!
I started walking. I started walking a lot and I mean A LOT!
I walked almost for 3 or 4 hours a day, 4-6 miles a day. The sun hitting my head, my eatting habbits hadn't improved but I had to do something to change myself!
At first, I lost 40 pounds in one and a half year bringing myself down to 218 pounds or something. My eatting habbits were the same but I was moving, I was in motion. I was still on the computer for many hours a day but compared to the time I spent before, it was an improvement.
The time had come and I had to write exams to go into university. I was ready for them and I was sure I could make my life a lot better if I lived alone. It was time for me to move out and conquere my future.
After the exam results came out, I was into med school. Unfortunately, my father was very convinsing and what seemed to be right was wrong actually. I was going to med school not because I wanted to but because my father wanted me to do so. But back then, I wasn't really sure of what I wanted. I was trying to find myself, I wasn't ready to find what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
That year, I went to med school and I spent the one year there. University taught me a lot of things. Made friendships and tried to find myself. I mearly succeded but it wasn't over yet, many things had to be done yet. The one good thing that happened was that I finally realized what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a psychologist! I had the means and the way but I didn't have my fathers approval nor support. Damn! He actually threatened me! He told me that he would leave my mother if I changed universities. At first, I was frightened. Not because of what I would lose but because of my mother and my sister that obviously is over-attached to my parents. Economicaly speaking, I make my own living and I pay for my bills. To be honest, I can't pay for my rent, not these days at least.
After reconsidering everything that happened with my parents, I had a choice to make. Time was running out and I had to choose... Med school and happy parents or psychology and a life based on your decisions? Fuckk, I was willing to do anything to live a life based on my own decisions. I have no regrets and I promised myself never to have any!
I always said the same thing, over and over again. Not to convince my self but because I believed so. "It is better to live a life based on **** and blame myself for it than live like a prince and give the credits to others"! I still believe this with all my heart!
These days, I am in psychology, I am 189 pounds, I stopped playing video games, my eatting habbits are amazingly good and I couldn't be prouder! Unfortunately, I still need my parents to tell me that :" you did great, son" , but I will never get that...
alexmark4 alexmark4
18-21, M
2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

If it feels right to you than you made the right choice. I pray that your parents open their hearts. Kudos on loosing the weight!!

I like your honesty, sometimes i wonder if there was another way of becoming the person we are today if we didnt pass through some of the situations we have been through, i tell you alot of people would like to have the kind of relationship you have with yourself if not to see things from the angle that you see from in this world of challenges, thanks for sharing your experience.

I never feel bad about the experiences I had until now. I might have been through a lot but I am glad for that because those experiences made me what I am today. Unfortunately, that is probably the only way... Thank you for your comment.