Walking Comatose Human

I have somehow trained my mind to become devoid of thoughts. When i am in my normal self, I dont want to think of anything. I would rather be sitting down and watching TV, sleeping or some brain-dead activity. It has gotten to the point where i cant perform at work. I need constant supervision- even after a task has been assigned. My salary dropped, my commission went to zero (we had to sell the car), my self-esteem is constantly battling along the lines of rock-bottom. My wife is an angel and is trying to feed me positive vibes but it does not help. 

I try to meditate, but it seems i have gotten so deep into this mental state of nothingness that i cant climb out anymore. I am only 33 and i am fearful of what the future holds.

kscorpio76 kscorpio76
6 Responses Mar 4, 2009

Have you considered that your mind is really not comatose or you would not be able to compose a coherent message? Perhaps you are just being too hard on yourself and you need to allow the thoughts to arise organically and treat them with indifference.

I went through something similar and I've recovered. I now understand that there is a type of emotional connection to thoughts that makes them 'feel' real. I recommend that you examine your mental state and try to find things that you love and and make your life fulfilling. Some things that helped me recover were taking an improv acting class, taking time to talk to understanding people one on one, journaling, and meditation. My mind does sometimes go blank or slows way down, but that's OK with me because I'm not my thoughts, they are just a physical process of my body like my heartbeat or breathing. By doing some of those activities that I recommended you may find that there's still stuff going on in the background but you have a kind of disconnection from some of that stuff. My mind works differently now than it did 10 years ago; it's not better and it's not worse, it's just different.

Wow! You mean I'm not alone??? My mind has been completely blank for at least 3 years now. It really scared me at first......now I've become used to it, I guess. I used to be very analytical and I'm an educated guy, but my abilitiy to generate thoughts is somehow buried deep down and I have no idea how to access it now.<br />
I used to go for long walks alone, and naturally just think about my life, and what I wanted to change, or what I thought I might pursue in the future, etc. Now, I can go for a long walk and my mind is just totally blank the whole time.....there's just nothing going on in my brain. In fact, I no longer enjoy going for walks because of this. <br />
I've was on an anti-depressant for about 3 months last year, but noticed absolutely no change in my ability to generate thoughts, so I stopped taking it. If any of you in the same predicament have beaten this, please, please, please share your story! Take care everybody.

yes yes, that is exactly how i feel. i thought i was the only one. at times i could not even explain whatis wrong with me...you guys just spelled out how i exactly feel. <br />
I am brain dead , i try to regenerate my self by exercising or doing active stuffs but then after a while back to square one. now i am really hopeless!! even at my work place, i just cant take it anymore, i want to quit my research work. it is just like dragging and pushing myself to work...guess what i cant keep doing this....please tell me what u did guys to alleviate ur problems cuz i see u wrote this like 1 year ago, did u see any improvements? plz plz write me i dont want to loose my life.

I have the same problem and it kills my conversation. I used to be an extremely creative thinker with lots of funny good stuff to say but I don't even have oppinions on anything anymore. I'm trying exercise my creative thinking through chatting to people on omegle and actively finding connections to things, but I tend to relapse back into my perpetual self of blank thought. I'm not sure what to do, i'll be the first to name the disorder ... blank thought disorder.

i can totally and utterly empathise with what you're going through. i have nothing, absolutely nothing going through my head in terms of independet or creative thought. its as if im brain dead...the only thing that i can focus or think about is how i have no independent thought going through my head! im leaving my job right now because i jsut cant take the humiliation...i sit there in front o fmy computer or at meetings trying to come up with ideas or something to contribute but i just cant say think of anything meaningful or relevant to contribute. im totally at loosing my grip on reality...words on the newspaper jsut dont register with me, i need someone to tell me what to do and what to say, i have no common sense. i went to the pysch and they said that i have narcisstic persnaltiy disorer and/or asperger's syndrome...but taht cant be entirely true because at least with those two disorders, they can actually function or have some sort of genius but im TOTALLY braindead. noone will believe me. thats why ive had trouble making friends too coz after a while i jsut run out of things to say..its just silent. have you had yoursel ftreated? i worry too..this world is survival of the fittest, im so delusional, sheltered, scared of the world coz i cant undrstand it...do you feel the way i do? what are you doing about it? what ar eyour THOUGHTS ha.

Im exactly the same, i got pulled out of school at a young age because of bullying and after a while i fell into a pattern of being and feeling empty and now i cant think properly at all i cant even have proper conversations with people because my mind just goes blank now i just float through life watching tv or anything else to distract me.