I Just Want To Lose This Weight

But everything I do is through my parents, they are the fattest, unhealthiest family, i ever met. Everyday, I feel so pressured all the time. I just feel so pressured. I have to make up for everything. Especially my weight. Everyone, feels satisfied with their life and environment. That's make me very angry. I always think everyone is happy, but I guarantee they are not. I would love to talk to my sister. I mean, she goes away to school, and she is a sophomore at 19 years old. About to be a junior. I mean she is doing everything right, everyday. But with me, I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I just want everything to be right for myself. Nothing hurts more, than being lonely. Being lonely, is the worst feeling in the world. Like it is just horrible. I would create people because I gotten so lonely. Then I realize I am not God. By me trying to create friends, I end up missing a large chunk of my life. Like everyone's life is going fine. I do tend to do too much at once. And when I do that, I start thinking that God is trying to stop me, some kind of way. It can be very daunting and confusing. I do put a lot of pressure on myself everyday. That is because I left something out there, and I want to get it back.

chicago54 chicago54
22-25, M
Feb 28, 2010