My Life In Jw Line

I was brought up a witness and this life was all I knew,I was surrounded by big family who were all witnesses to,aunties,uncles and Cousion,I tried really hard to belong to witnesses and aux and reg pioneered and got myself in middle of all action,but I still felt like out sider and I use to question some things and looked down on for doing this. I thought if I left home and got married I would feel more complete,I met ministerial servant and married him,but this turned out to be wrong choice as he was mentally and physically abusive,after reporting this to elders I was told to go home and be supportive wife,I was reproved twice well my husband progressed to being elder.I left my marriage with help domestic abuse people.But even though I am not disfellowshipped none of my family speak to me and I have had to move away.i have spent most of my life feeling guilty and feeling like I bad person,but I wasn't,I was typical teenager and a trapped adult with no help from the congregation.I have my son with me,who I love and protect and encourage him to live life. When I left the jw I did not know how to make choices of my own as I had always been told what to do.Does anyone else feel like this and have to battle with guilt.would be good to hear from anyone.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 8, 2013