On My Road to Victory

For the past 7 years, my life had been mostly a struggle, more so psychologically, as I had acquired a lot of fears which at the time I could not understand, let alone deal with.

I was shy, anxious in just about any social situation, and eventually got depressed. I realise now that I suffered also from a low sense of self-esteem, and that contributed largely to my problems.

I'm proud to say that I never gave up, for there were times when I felt completely alone and worthless, and I felt I could not talk to anybody about my personal problems. I did my own research on anxieties, depression, and recently, on self esteem and psychotherapy, and have since then gained a wider understanding of the nature and causes of my problems.

So through my self-initiated effort and without the help of any psychologist, therapist or medical drugs, I was able to get myself out of the seemingly vicious cycle of negative thoughts, self-defeating beliefs, and self-sabotaging actions. Consequently, the level of anxiety I now experience in general in my life has dropped significantly.

Life has gotten more exciting, and I have taken more responsibility over my whole life. Currently, I am confronting some of my more dormant fears that get activated in certain specific situations, and continuously questioning the conditioning, beliefs, tradition etc that have been inculcated in our heads since childhood, that we have merely accepted without challenge, and that could be working to our own detriment.

Slowly but surely, everyday, I'm making little gains, and will continue until I've achieved a large sense of personal freedom to live the life I truly want to live!

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19 Responses Jul 6, 2009

That is inspiring. Great going.

Well done.<br />
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Every so often we are given a challenge that we have to overcome and some people can overcome trhat challenge and some can't. There are a few however who come back stronger than before. Whenever this happens to me I hit the books or the pc and learn new stuff. I split up with my fiancee two weeks ago and all of my colleagues and friends said you will bounce back. I told them that I was already 2 steps ahead. I am now financially and emotionally better off. My career has also altered as now not only am I a fully trained security guard but I now write affiliate websites for a living



i think that i have the same prob that u have i think that im worthless and to be honest i dont know what to do or how to get out off this feeling

just wondering how do you deal with these problems when they are caused by people you face everyday...

This is beauitful, i am so happy for you. It's inspiring :) Thank you for this post.

Hey! I'm just like you, constantly improving and never giving up. Though i do get sad when my family think it is wrong and all that (seems they just don't understand).

I remember depression robbing me of the best years, and best moments of my life. But as I got older I found there is a part in me that is able to ob<x>jectively weigh the circumstances and my decisions, if I think of myself as a 3rd person and put some emotional distance between myself and my problems I can treat myself very much like a patient. With some awareness of the thoughts going through my head....I realize I don't have to dwell in discouragement. I can assemble little tools I can use to get myself through the anxiety attacks and make wiser choices in my life. I remember a saying I read which has stayed with me along time, :" Live your life as if you were living it the second time around and about to make the same mistake now as you did then...." <br />
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I find that if I am not careful, I tend to perpetuate the same cycle that I've done all my life. Namely telling myself I cannot do something and then giving myself an excuse not to go after my goal. <br />
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I googled my symptoms like you. And I came across the term :"Learned Helpless" as the root of depression. I realize I was the one who had cheated myself of the opportunities in my life. I want to live the second phase of my life wiser. Thanks for the encouragement your experiences has provided. I am glad you are able to do this while still at an early stage in your life yet.

well done for taking responsibility for your life, it might seem easier to blame other things or circumstance and it takes real courage and determination to be responsible.

I too don't like taking medications, and wish I had your knowledge. You should really give yourself a pat on the back.

Thats great. I feel the same way. I have been in many relationships..back to back.. along the way I feel as though I have lost myself. I abused alcohol and became someone that doesnt resemble the "real" me anymore. I hope to be on the road to recovery. I threw away all the drinks at home, still w/my boyfriend and hope to see if he can love me without the alcohol and if I can still love him too! Like you I am trying also to go through this changing process without a counselor or meds. I hope you have a great day and glad to see that I am not alone in a road to recovery.

I'm going through a very similar situation. I have not had any contact with anyone outside of my immediate family in over a year. I also suffer from depression and anxiety. My doctor put me on medication but I didn't take it. The medication wasn't going to make me feel better about myself so I thought it was useless. My self-esteem has a big part to do with my problems and I've dealt with this for six years now but never had I been this hopeless and lonely. I've also questioned my faith. I don't quite have the same belief in God as I did a year ago. I've actually been better because of this. I don't have this extreme fear of death like I used to. I don't want to believe in something just because everyone says it's the right thing to do. I feel a lot better now but I'm not completely where I want to be but I know soon I will be. I just hope one day I can walk out of my house and not worry about what somebody is thinking about me and have my beliefs without being scared if someone won't like me because of them. I know I'm not perfect but I'm smart and I just want be successful.

YAY!!!!! I am so happy for you.

I like it. I think I will learn from you

its been my way upward too omium...<br />
and m still trying to improve those subtle unexplained patterns in behavior....<br />
and i now advise people..<br />
besides it helps reading people's mind...<br />
i automatically tend to cling to right people and m improving my self....<br />
all d best to every1 in here....

Thank you! This inspired me to write about what I am going through...I am happy that you are doing well and to know that I am not alone. I wish you the best in life :]<br />
<br />
Lao Tzu - "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be"

What!!, I was also like that except I used drugs to deal with all those negative thoughts and feelings. but not any more and am also well on the way to becoming more of who I can be. Good for you

Just reading that gave me hope :P I've been to doctors and all that crap but I don't want some medication to make me feel better, I want to ACTUALLY feel better...<br />
So I did a little research on your Dr Nathaniel Branden and this caught my eye...<br />
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"You are a gift.<br />
You are special.<br />
You are a blessing.<br />
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When you read these words, how do you feel? <br />
Do you accept these words as true, or does something get in the way?"<br />
<br />
Anyway I want to be able to accept these words as true, no matter what anyone else thinks and well yes your advice and reading experience really did motivate me to help myself so I guess I'm saying thankyou :)

thats brillant you should be so proud of yourself, i to have questioned the main steam treatment for these things and i to have found that there is away to recovery by persistance and looking for alturnative methods which dont require a debilitating lable and on going treatment involving medications.i hate to be told youve got this and thats theres nothing that can be done about it other than making your life as confortable as we can....its a cop out