Lacking Mental-maintenance: Loneliness

My life would have been very colorful if I have all my mental-maintenance activities checked. But I don't. As a student near graduating, I filled my days with so many hectic activities. So many times it choked me up to the point that I would have anxiety problems, because of deadlines pounding my head. Aside from that I have a part time job at my school. The job is very easy, and I have a lot of freetime to do my school work. I have no problem with school and work life. It is going very good in fact. Graduating in a few months, great portfolio, great connection and resume. But I cannot pretend the lingering feeling that I have an empty part of me that needs to be filled.

I have a boyfriend, live alone, my parents/family are on the other side of the world. Life is, very alone and lonely. Since I live in a big city, everyone else is busy. They already have their own business. I spend most of my days and nights alone. When I am in school, I stare at the computer screen as long as I am awake, since i am doing visual communication.

My life on one hand, seemed so full, so happy and successful. But on the other side, it is very hollow and empty. Seems like I have no foundation that hold me together, and it is making me fall apart easily.

I traveled accross the world to find great teachers, only to find that teacher has been myself . I am smart, good, and very lonely. I long for daily interaction with someone, just like when you have a family. Meet that person daily... only with that I feel like my life is getting somewhere. If not, I just feel like running in a race that never ends, no home to go home to. I am still looking for something to fill my emptiness.

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